ASD, new year 7 - feel so confused

[TankFlyBoss]

My ASD DD has just started year 7 in a mainstream secondary well known for having good SEN support.

At primary she had quite high emotional needs with frequent outbursts, excessive crying and screaming to the point that she would lose whole sessions of learning time. We applied for an EHCP towards the end of year 6 partly on the encouragement of the secondary sendco during our transition meetings. The new senco was clearly concerned.

The EHCP needs assessment was agreed and she is now in the process of assessment.

Since starting secondary she has been almost completely fine, with the odd couple of minor wobbles. The school have reported that she is a model student and has the most achievement points in year 7. They are clearly not concerned although I knew they started off the term treating her as if she already had the EHCP, but I don't know what this actually looks like for her in practice as she tells me she has never met her key worker etc. the contact from the senco has dwindled and I haven't heard from her for weeks - I assume she just isn't concerned and why should she be.

I am worried that the new school will think I have completely over stated her needs and difficulties or that I am neurotic and anxious.

It doesn't seem she needs the EHCP now and I wonder what is the point in getting it.

At home she is not fine. She is explosive, difficult, controlling, demanding and rude. I believe that she is masking at school and is highly highly anxious about getting things wrong, being late, getting into trouble and maintaining this being the best at everything. I have told school this.

I just don't know what to do, feeling very isolated right now since school clearly aren't worried about her. Do I withdraw my EHCP application? Ask to meet the senco to talk it through? I feel like I am pestering her with emails.

I was so prepared for a tricky start to year 7, had everything lined up and this was just not what I expected.

Definitely let the assessment go ahead! A good EP will see behind the masking.

Where are you in the process? Has a needs assessment been agreed? Has an educational psychologist seen her?

@Thisismynewusernamedoyoulikeit

We are awaiting EP for assessment. Our LA is behind so likely to be a good few months yet.

I'm really doubting myself that she ever needed an EHCP although her need was so much higher in primary and I just don't know what's going on,

But yes a needs assessment has been agreed.

she has been almost completely fine

Before you do anything, reflect on this. DD isn’t almost completely fine, otherwise she wouldn’t be experiencing the coke bottle effect. If DD was almost completely fine you wouldn’t think DD was masking so much and anxious, etc. DD’s needs may be presenting differently to when she was in primary, but her needs haven’t lessened. You are still very early days in secondary. There’s still the potential for you to be in the honeymoon period. Many girls find they cannot continue to mask throughout secondary. Continue with the EHCNA. Request a meeting with the SENCO.

The LA is in breach of the statutory timescales. Send the LA IPSEA’s model letter. If that doesn’t work, you need a pre-action letter. SOSSEN can help with this. There is a wait, so you might want to look elsewhere. If a pre-action letter doesn’t work, judicial review proceedings themselves will.

Agree with the above. She's not almost completely fine. She's masking well. She's struggling overall though, and you've got evidence form primary that it could all come out at school again.

I would maybe suggest the opposite of PP. Definitely continue with the needs assessment. But there's no need to push the LA to carry it out any quicker than it will naturally take place. It could even help you that it's delayed, as the needs might change.

Has the coke bottle effect become worse since the start of year 7?

My concern with allowing the LA to continue to take their time is if the LA refuse to issue and OP needs to appeal, the wait is long. There may also be the need for a content appeal with another long wait. Even if OP enforces the timescales, this could mean a good EHCP isn’t in place until Y8 or Y9. If OP doesn’t enforce the timescales and she has to appeal twice to get a good EHCP, that could stretch into Y10. That is a very long time to wait if the wheels spectacularly fall over.

@EndlessLight @Thisismynewusernamedoyoulikeit

Thank you so much for your considered replies.

I agree about the level of explosion at home. This is definitely on another level since she started secondary, it is constant stress about not getting things right. She is almost unmanageable at home for much of the time. I've also communicated this to the form tutor who did send a sensible reply.

I am so disappointed with the school. While she is doing well there, she hasn't seen the key worker she was appointed and doesn't understand why. I have emailed the senco 2/3 times to voice my concern about the fact that she is masking in school and presenting herself to be perfect and not had a response.

I am also worried that this is going to end up in a refusal to issue as you pointed out.

wheels spectacularly fall over.

oh dear. I should not try to do more than one thing and at time. Of course my pp should have said ‘fall off’.

When you speak to the school can you change how you phrase things? “While she is doing well there” gives a false impression. DD is not managing fine in school.

That's a really good point about use of language.

Do you have a parents evening on the horizon. You could ask for a slot with the SENCo and clarify what has happened to the promised support, especially the key worker and reiterate that DD isn’t ‘managing’, she’s making.

Making = masking.