Hi
I have a summer born child who has an ADHD diagnosis, a dispraxia diagnosis and a doctor who was absolutely useless. Who basically told us to look up charities
(Ok at the time he was diagnosed with dispraxia only) she said he didn’t have ADHD. (2 years later, he got diagnosed)
so his so far behind at school, we told them at year 1 to put him back in reception, a educational psychologist recommended this, school didn’t listen.
we were told he was progressing that he would catch up… his still on year one books.
he gets in trouble regularly and there is a pattern… (games, PE, music and lunch time usually) other kids are making him get angry but because he dose the most damage his the one always in trouble. (don’t get me wrong, over and over we have punished him for doing the wrong thing he has consequences)
now his had to withdraw an after school club because of safety, I feel it’s my fault and I set him up to fail but I didn’t realise it was a big class with lots of waiting around…
he never seems to listen, he awful at playing games and despite years of drumming what he shouldn’t be doing he still dose it of course.
now we’ve done the courses, we’ve got rules in place, using empathy, keeping calm, giving him safe space. We are considering medication, but I see the medical side of it and do a lot ECGs of kids who are on the meds… is it a case we are taking away anything by giving the meds…?
the SEN teacher is putting things in to place and is very convincing to other people…
I feel she can talk a good game. She has always said he dosent need an EHCP. The gap is widening between him and the other kids. His in year 4 and they are giving him year 1 books to read, he still can’t write very well, maths is ok but there is no way he will learn his times table by the end of the year.
we got him a tutor and she is giving him higher books then at school. His now reading some things independently. (This has occurred in the last 2 months or so)
there is also an issue of maturity. He can’t take multiple instructions, even when the list is on the wall. (Yes I know this is ADHD) but he also still can’t play nicely with other kids.
he cries and says I don’t want to be bad but then the next day his in trouble again.
he screams about trivial things. He tantrums when he don’t get what he wants but this has never resulted in him getting what he wants (we’ve always been very strict on that) He interrupts, he won’t do things like making breakfast or having a drink independently, you have to remind him. All the things other people tell me their 5-8 year olds do… he dosent take the initiative.
his got no friends, his branded the bully also despite being the smallest and youngest.
He can be a really sweet boy in moments. When his calm his really thoughtful and dose some very kind things.
obviously we are scared for the future. The violent outbursts are worrying.
I’d love to hear from others who have ADHD… what was the best methods that worked for you?
should we move his school?
medications Pros/cons?
thanks x