3.5 year old possible autism?

[Mummytobr]

Hey,

I’ve always wondered if my little boys shyness was something more but always been dismissed. Nursery have raised a concern this week and now it’s at the front of my mind again.

Here are some red flags I’ve noted-

—he babbled at 4 months then all of a sudden stopped - didn’t make any more noises except humming until over 1 when he started saying words
— he is EXTREMELY shy - won’t say hi or bye or even smile at anyone he isn’t extremely familiar with
— sensitive to loud noises, can’t use hand dryer for example
— let’s all emotions out after nursery, holds them in while there
— never liked hugs or kisses (sometimes from mum but no one else)
— never liked being held as a baby
— flaps hands occasionally if upset
— repeats phrases when overwhelmed (these phrases change week by week)
— hides/withdrawn at toddler groups/nurser— rarely says hi/bye to family
— loves to run a lot of the time in circles

I’m not worried as such because I know that is his personality but he’s started having a hard time at nursery now and I’m wondering if it could be linked

He’s extremely clever and despite the babbling delay hasn’t had speech delay as such. He’s always been advanced with his talking

Just wondering if anyone has any advice really x

It will surely help with nursery and later school if he gets diagnosed. It's different I think in each county but where we live you can self-refer to children health services to get an ASD assessment, or ask your GP for a referral. Waiting times are over 1 year pretty much everywhere, some places have 2 to 3 years waiting times, so best to get onto the waiting list ASAP. You don't need a diagnosis to request an EHCP from your council, and you can always directly speak to nursery or Senco at school to request any reasonable adjustments you think might help him. There is a lot of speak in the NHS about how we are all neurodivergent etc, etc, so you must be quite vocal and specific about the difficulties he experiences to even get onto the waiting list for an assessment.

I think it is worth looking at a referral. If you can’t self refer, speak to the nursery, HV &/or GP.

I could have written your post or very similar about my son, 3.8 and just started pre school. Lots of behaviours and signs we’ve seen since he turned 2 but not seen by the nursery settings he’s been in, he’s just started pre school and I doubt they will there either as he seems to hold it together there and lets it all out at home, he also has good language and most of our concerns are more sensory.

we nearly didn’t try for a referral for ASD assessment because of the lack of evidence in his nursery setting but I trusted my gut and went for it, and we recently found out it was accepted and he’s now on the (likely very long) wait list. Although it’s too early to know the outcome I feel hugely validated that someone has seen our evidence and thinks it warrants attention. In the meantime we will see how he settles at school and whether time changes things or if he still would benefit from assessment when a bit older. So I would say speak to your HV or GP for sure, we were lucky to have a very helpful HV who I’d been raising concerns with since he was a baby.

He seems happy enough at the moment at preschool but ahead of starting school next year I will probably engage with the SENCO at some point as there’s some issues we may need to raise on things like toileting.

always happy to chat if you want to direct message!

We are going through similar with our 3.5 year old. His old nursery didn’t seem interested (maybe too young) but his new one have said that they are looking into some extra support for him as he struggles leaving me and doesn’t want to play or interact with other children. Our son is verbal, makes eye contact and can communicate very well but he’s always struggled with worries, loud noises, people touching him, very very unsettled as a baby and was obsessed with spinning objects and lights. We’ve always thought there’s more than him just being a bit sensitive. Family keep saying he’s just a boy and will grow out of most of it. But we’ve just had about 8 weeks of him not wanting to go anywhere at all, extremely emotional and aggressive behaviours with us (very randomly) we’ve tried so many things to try and regulate him and been in contact with different people to get some help. We feel like a lot of people aren’t listening to us and think he’s just naughty, we’ve always had boundaries and comes from a very loving settled home. He holds in is anger etc at preschool and lets it out on us once home which I know is really common in a lot of children. I think if you ever feel like something needs looking into more then do. You know your child better than anyone. We were pretty much laughed at last year when we brought up some concerns, health visitor asked our son if we were making up the fact his mood is very up and down when we were asking for help.
I hope you get the help you would like and are listened to