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Here you'll find advice from parents and teachers on special needs education.

Idk what to do

3 replies

Motherof3needadvice · 19/09/2024 10:42

I apologise in advance for long post, background story I have a child who’s 5 and he is under speech and language and he has just started full time school.
In nursery they have commented that he wouldn’t sit still for snack time, he was boisterous, and they picked up on he’s speech delay and referred to salt. He then has been going to the salt weekly for a year, she has said on many different sessions he has asd/adhd and she has commented on he’s attention span, not wanting to sit and learn, constant moving/fidgeting, being self absorbed, easily distracted ect and she has said he will need a lot more of these sessions because of this, she told me to go to the gp and ask for a referral. I always thought adhd since he was about 2 but didn’t want to put a label on him I just thought maybe I am reading too much into it but as he has got older it has got worse and more noticeable. Hes eating is my main concern because he will only eat the same meal each day and same breakfast he won’t try any new foods he will heave gag be sick So I took him to the gp and as soon as we got into the office he was running riot not listening climbing and fidgeting ect and the gp said he has 100% got adhd but he can’t have asd because he’s too friendly to strangers (didn’t make much sense to me as I have looked into asd and it’s a wide variety I’m not 100% clued up on it all as I am learning) anyway so he has made a referral to be seen by the community Paediatric clinic. Currently still waiting. During school my son does seem okay he’s eating and drinking is an issue which they have to monitor and encourage but because he’s doing a lot of playing and barley any work as it’s only reception he is alright. But I had my sons senco phone me as I did ask her to go in and observe him and she phoned me and said I went in for 15 mins to have a look and because he looked at me when I called he’s name and because he wanted to participate in the activity she has no concerns so I was quite annoyed at that as I never said he doesn’t make eye contact and I know he will participate but she also said if the Paediation contacts her she will say she has no concerns and it can cancel my referral. (Idk how true it is as I am new to all this but I did think I would need school to work with me not against) so again I explained all my concerns and she just responded with I don’t see anything and then tried to blame my parenting. It is frustrating because I would like them to try and work with me rather than against as that is how I feel I know my son is masking during school and that does worry me as he comes home every day and he has a massive melt down and there really bad and now I’m unsure what to do. Some of the things he does; bites and chews clothes, very clumsy always having accidents, doesn’t look where he’s going, constant fidgeting, constant tantrums, lacks concentration, lying in weird positions, repeats himself over and over , butts into conversations, touching things, does things before thinking, doesn’t know how to control or deal with he’s emotions, he will play with children but loves to play by himself, runs off, charges into things/people, no fear, hurting himself/others, constantly tapping feet, loves physical running ect, The repetitive sounds, songs, sayings and rhythmic first / foot banging are constant all day long ect that is just some. He doesn’t sleep good he goes to bed late wakes up early and during the night. He goes to football and the coach came up to me the first session and commented on how he is and he also suspected adhd and now they work with him during the sessions rather than against him I have had parents come up to me and family members it’s like everyone can see it but the school so if I do get my referral turned down what should I do as in the private route. I have seen people say OT therapy, assessment straight away, I just don’t know how to go about this and where to start.
Any advice is appreciated and thank you if anyone does actually read this.

OP posts:
BusMumsHoliday · 19/09/2024 11:22

I'm sorry the SENCO was so unsupportive - you're right that she's not trained to diagnose, and won't have been able to tell a lot from 15 minutes two weeks into reception.

Time might be on your side here. It sounds like your son's difficulties are likely to become more apparent over time, and even the initial paeds referral might take a few months. I'd talk to his class teacher and ask him to keep an eye, and keep a diary of any feedback you get about his behaviour and attention (issues with eating can be included in this). You could also see if his football coach could put something in writing for you about how he presents there.

What you're describing could be ASD, ADHD, both or neither, but you're right to seek assessment. The GP should be able to refer to OT as well as the paeds assessment, or there may be a pathway for you to refer yourself - the chewing, crashing, fidgeting you describe warrants that. If the paeds referral gets knocked back go back to your GP, and ask for it to go back in - they also sound like they are on your side, even if they are wrong about ASD (my DS will talk "at" strangers as long as they'll let him because he lacks the social understanding not to...)

EndlessLight · 19/09/2024 11:25

For DS’s eating, have a look at ARFID. Speak to the GP about it.

Speak to the class teacher again. Request another meeting with the SENCO. It isn’t unusual for the school to not see signs. It doesn’t mean DS doesn’t have ADHD or ASD (the GP is incorrect. You can be autistic and friendly to strangers). Although the school must have noticed at least the eating difficulties. What you describe with the meltdowns afterschool are known as the coke bottle effect. It signifies unmet needs at school. If school was easier, home life would improve too. The school needs to provide support. Does the SENCO know DS is under SALT?

If community paeds discharge because of the school, complain. Do you have it in writing from the SALT that assessment is needed?

Not all areas commission sensory OT, but if your ICB does, it is worth a referral.

You might find the books The Explosive Child and the Out of Sync Child helpful. Some of the ideas in this booklet and on this website will be useful. Have you tried chewelry? Do you have any sensory toys/equipment?

VoiceinPics · 19/09/2024 11:31

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