How common is autism in a second child?

[Annabellemason]

My DS has just turned 3 in August, he started pre-school today he is autistic and undiagnosed he can say a handful of words but no sentences. I’m hoping nursery and speech and language will bring him out of his shell a bit? (I’m still new to asd so if I’m wrong please correct me). I am hopeful as he does say words so he’s not non-verbal I think, he’s 70% potty trained I’d say and not a fussy eater but he does stim a lot but communication is his major issue at the moment. DS is an only child so to me he’s “normal” I don’t see him any different but today for the first time when I heard children his age and younger talking in full sentences it put a lump in the back of my throat because I crave that so much. My little boy is my life and I wouldn’t change him for the world but I feel (selfishly) as a mother I crave that interaction with my own child. I know they say there’s a 1 in 5 chance that the second child will be born with autism and I feel since DS autism regression at 22 months I’m constantly worried who will look after him once I’m gone. My question is (after rambling on) has anyone got children that are both NT and ND? Or more than one ND how do they get on do they benefit from one another.

I’m in the same boat, DS nearly 3 and we are currently (casually) trying to conceive, but have reservations about doing it all again with another ASD child. I’m not so sure about it being a 1 in 5 chance being a solid statistic as there are so many unknown factors to ASD probability IMO. I also feel the same way where I don’t want him to be alone once we’re gone though, and I’d like to have another child too.

Well done on the potty training, we are no where near yet but he’s started pre-school and now it feels like the pressure is on to get him going to the toilet, but his body awareness is not there. he’s connected some dots but not make the whole picture yet.

We know a few people who have a first ASD child and a second NT child - and we have also said that we wouldn’t mind if a second child was like our first, but if we had a child who had higher needs then that would make life harder. It’s a hard decision 🙂

Hi, so my eldest is now 5 and she was similar at 3. Single words only and still very little receptive language. But she can talk in short sentences now and you can have a mini conversation 😊I found that her speech really moved forward in her reception year. Second child is a very personal decision but we went on to have twins who are now 3. NT as far as I can see but who knows. Eldest has really benefited from their speech development and play- they are probably all quite similar developmentally which helps. So for us I feel it was overall positive experience although I won’t deny the early years were very hard!