When/how to tell your child

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My DS, nearly 7 has ASD and ADHD. It's very never spoken to him about it (not hiding it, just kind of never had to). He does struggle with some emotional things, and has some sessions with a TA once a week at school to work on things (mainstream school). I feel now he's getting older, maybe to talk to him about it? I don't know, this is all so new territory and have no friends with children with SEN. When did you speak to your child about it, and how did you approach it?

I asked so many people for advice on this, and was given loads of contradictory advice. Some told me they had a right to know as young as possible; others said that they only need to know when they can fully understand it. I’m sorry not to give any concrete advice but I guess you will know when your child is ready. In my case I told DS when he was 9. It was the perfect time - luckily the school had done a few assemblies on neurodiversity and so it was generally accepted as just something that affects some people. He still views his neurodiversity as something special that makes him think differently. I had a book also that really helped. Good luck!

It's hard isn't it. He's super intelligent so I feel I could talk to him. But he has low self esteem, always feels like he's not good enough, although we constantly tell him he is and how amazing he is. I just don't want him to take it negatively which is why I feel I need to choose my words carefully.

Maybe a good time to tell him then - to help explain some things?

Have a look at My Autism Book by Gloria Dura Vila and Tamar Levi.

Thank you, I will have a look at that. So scared of saying the wrong thing.

I told DD a month after her diagnosis when she was 8, and only waited that long as it was right before the summer holidays so thought it better for her to have the summer to process before deciding what, if anything, to tell people at school. However she knew she found some things harder, and was having appointments to find out why, so with that plus the school assemblies on neurodiversity she was halfway there anyway. We started by reading the 'All casts are on the autism spectrum book', then progressed to more detailed stuff as she got older.