I just need a bit of advice

[ElizabethClaire]

Hiya
I have a boy aged 15 . He has a learning difficulty . He struggles understanding language . He has an EHCP Plan . His disability is quite invisible until you really talk to him . He is a camelion as in he could be with a group of boys and look like he totally fits in . But this is not the reality .
Most of my friends have boys the same age and up until the last couple of years he has done stuff with them . Suddenly they have stopped contacting him . I spoke to one of my friends about how sad I felt for him . And she said you cant force kids to be friends .I was quite hurt when she said this but i am aware its true also .
I feel so angry at my friends and their children for excluding my son . And I know its not how I should feel but I do . Im avoiding everyone atm as so worried im going to ruin my friendships . But i also feel so desperately sad for my boy who knows hes not being included and is upset .
Hes quite an easy going kid but probably not v clued up and his language skills are pretty low . Other boys are more grown up and I can see there is a big difference but why cant they just be kind ? I dont understand what harm it would do to invite him ?
He was invited to my friends kids party and my son thought yes im in we are still freinds again . But no more contact afterwards so it was more of a show thing for me .

The other friends I do have all have problems atm and are v much needing me to help them and if im honest its weighing me down as well , I feel really low atm . I just dont know what to do . Any advice would be great . I have tried to get my son to do send clubs ect but he will only do the one he does atm which is mainstream and this has all boys that pretty much dismiss him now .
Im not sure what im after but just feel so alone . I am married my husband understands but if we talk too much he gets upset too . My mum listens but doesnt really understand .
Any ideas on how to cope would be great x

You are right in that you can’t force friendships. Instead can you look at other ways for DS to socialise. I would encourage DS to try other extra curricular clubs &/or a club for disabled teens. Some find 1:1 interaction easier so you could try that too. Have you spoken to the school about what support they are providing?

What support is DS currently receiving? Is there anything in the EHCP to help with social interaction and communication? SALT and OT? Have you had social care assessments with the aim of looking at getting a PA (perhaps a young male)?

I really have tried he is adamant he won't try clubs .Be does have send friends but they rarely are seen outside school .
I will talk to the school as well .Thankyou for getting back I felt really down yesterday. I just don't see what the harm would be to invite him .If was my child I would be asking them why. I guess perhaps they have and I wouldn't like the answer who knows !
He does a specialised drama lesson and has SALT weekly .I will speak to teacher also .Thankyou x

Can you focus on developing DS’s friendships with other DC with SEN? It might take more organising and organised activities might work better to begin with.

I am going to try .It's not always that easy. But I'm feeling more focused n less upset today .I'm going to try and get him to try a send class with a school friend thankyou