Hi, apologies this will be a long post and I haven't posted on a forum before so not quite sure what I'm doing.
My ds is 4.5 year old. He was born at 30 weeks, alot of pain and trauma, lumbar puncture at 3 day old, first held at 7 days old and for very short times thereafter, until he was around 6 weeks old and I could hold him for hours at a time.
He is a very happy, smiley, polite, kind, loving child, gets on well with other children of all ages, likes to play with other children and also quite happy to play on his own. Alot of people say he is a character and very funny. He went to nursery from 18 months for 3 days a week and has just left and started school.
I would say he is more of a leader than a follower, kids will end up where he is, get involved and then he will move on.
The issue is I always felt he was different from other children as he got older, the odd one out at every event.
Examples,
Sports day at school, all the mums talking, every child involved, Im chasing after my son through woods and all sorts, he just wasnt interested
Parties, he loves, but will end up finding his own area to play in or want to be outside.
Swimming lessons stopped working around a year ago, up to mischief, doing what he has been told not to do, making up his own games, just wants to play, i came here to float, not swim, will be extremely loud, sing or shout loudly if asked to do something or say get off me to the instructor, ive took him out for a year and will then try 1 on 1.
Nursery were taking children to the beach,, but couldnt take him as he couldnt be trusted. Sports lessons at nursery, 5 minutes he would do then off doing his own thing, so he then had to stay inside so already started to miss out. He says things are boring, he just wants to play.
Football lessons, karate lessons, acrobatic class, all other children involved, him just doing his own thing so had to leave them, I kept being told he was young still or just a boy but there were always younger children. He would be very loud, shout, be very defiant. (maybe wanting control, showed people not to mess with him etc)
At nursery he wouldnt sit on the mat, wouldnt tidy up, if he was pushed too far, he would scream, throw toys on the floor, very defiant again but not a daily occurence. I do think he has fight or flight issues, he doesnt like loud noises, chaos.
Now at school, the teacher pulled me aside, he took his socks and shoes off (they could at nursery) wouldnt sit on the mat or tidy as he was too tired, it was boring, so tipped chairs over, threw food, hit the teacher (although light hands, more of a point than to hurt) then was apologetic. Ok ish the next day but today is PE and he only excercises at home he said this morning and sit down assembly Friday. I think there may be more issues. He did tell them learning on a mat is stupid and they should just be playing, having fun. He will stand and scream for 20 seconds if hes really annoyed although less so now, maybe 4 seconds but will stare at you to show hes really annoyed and not happy about complying.
Always taught him road safety, never trusted him though, if we know the road is clear we will test him, tell him to stop, he just runs straight over 'as there were no cars'. He wont do a jigsaw more than once 'as hes already done it' . I have found him more exhausting than ever this past year, getting out the house to shop, or walk the dogs etc.
I think he will be okay as an adult, clever enough etc, but in the meantime I dont want him left out, left behind or treat different by kids as they grow older.
I have read other threads over the years but he just didnt fit other childrens issues completely. What was it that made him different in every situation.
So my thoughts are past pain, trauma issues, or his brain development on focus just isnt there yet, his personality or EDA PDA seems to fit. Although we have ruled out ADHD. Plan with the school is they will email me with issues, discuss with me and see how he is at the end of term as if hes the same he will be in a pickle! I do think Dyspraxia could be a problem too as hes pretty slow on his balance bike and cant do a small scooter. Waiting to see what the school says, his behaviour over the next 2 weeks and may refer him.
So sorry for the long post, just wanted to put it all out and not drip feed.
Anyone got any ideas, pointers? Its always been a nagging in my head, trying to work him out every few month or so. Ive started googling again because of school, but also just want to help and solve things for him.