DD refusing to transfer to PIP

[FataleError]

DD turns 16 soon and has to transfer from DLA to PIP; she has autism and anxiety and attends a specialist alternative provision with an education plan.

Due to her needs, I’m unable to work full time as she requires me to transport her to and from her AP (she’s had previous episodes of refusal and is too anxious to use authority or public transport).

DD is extremely sensitive about her diagnoses and refuses to accept that she needs additional support. So much so, that she has convinced herself that everyone has got it wrong and she’s without doubt NT (she’s not). She believes wholeheartedly that the authority allows her to attend the expensive alternative provision, simply because she didn’t like MS school; this is relevant.

Because of her sensitivity to her diagnoses (which really affects her MH), she does not know that I receive DLA for her. I save some of it in her account , but most of it goes on her expensive therapy hobby, towards the extra clothes that I need to purchase, treats to do with her hobby and a chunk goes in the household pots to help with bills.

Firstly, is the way I am using her DLA ok? I worry at times that I might be getting it wrong.

Secondly, the real issue. I have broached the subject of PIP with DD and she outright refuses to apply, saying she does not need it and it’s not for her. I know she will tell any assessor that she has no issues at all, can do everything without support and that she’s fully independent; whilst this is not true, she believes this completely.

It’s highly unlikely DD will be able to get a part time job like her peers. DD needs PIP to be able to start to manage her own money and to support her. How on earth am I going to get around this?

DD does have a lifetime of evidence (and an education plan) to confirm her struggles , but she’s going to be extremely reluctant to allow me to share any of these things with anyone. She will not attend an assessment and will not talk on the phone.

However, I’m loathe for her to miss out on funds she’s entitled to, especially as the financial impact on me will increase significantly. Thoughts?

How you are using DD’s DLA isn’t wrong. However, be careful saving in DD’s name if she lacks capacity or she may go on to need means tested benefits, adult social care support, legal aid for help with her EHCP (I presume that is what you mean by education plan?). Also, the therapy hobby can be included in her EHCP.

For PIP, I would take a two pronged approach.

1. Does DD have capacity to manage a claim herself? I suggest not. Therefore, you can request to become appointee. That would mean you could speak on the phone on DD’s behalf. Few assessments are in person, so I wouldn’t worry about that at this stage.
2. Is DD open to a rational explanation that if she doesn’t receive PIP you can’t afford to take her to the AP, pay for her hobby treats, extra clothes or stay on reduced hours?

PIP is nothing to do with work.

@EndlessLight thank you for posting. DD will tell me she has capacity to make these decisions but in reality she’s more concerned with how she will be perceived rather than how it will benefit her, so I would rationalise not.

I’ve tried to discuss things and she outright refuses to listen how this will impact financially. I’m not sure I could apply without her consent so I will just have to hope she sees sense when there’s no money for what she wants and needs .

Whether DD has capacity or not isn’t down to her saying she has got capacity or not.

If you request to become DD's appointee and are made appointee, you do not need DD’s consent to apply for PIP.

I’m resurrecting this thread as I’m at my wits end with DD. The forms for me to become DD’s appointee for PIP are on the way and DD has said she will refuse to sign them.

DD believes she does not need the money as her NT friends do not need it; she believes the extra costs I have related to her additional needs are the same costs as every parent has for children. I’ve tried to explain to her that her NT friends do not need additional support in the terms of costly therapy, private healthcare assessments to ensure she can access support quickly (ADHD) as well as the day to day living costs, specific foods, extra clothes and so on. She feels I’m insulting her by suggesting that these things are a part of her SN (which she also denies having!).

I’m quite cross about her refusal to agree to the claim because it stems purely from the idea and the belief that she is to be NT like her friends, even though they are worlds apart. Ironically, these very thoughts are a part of her mental health condition.

I’ve explained that PIP will be hers, that it does not benefit me in any way and that she should at least apply. She has capacity in the sense that she is not cognitively impaired, has some independent living skills with support and on the surface presents as NT due to masking.

I am also concerned that if I am interviewed to become appointee, that DD will disagree to the claim and say she doesn’t need it, making me appear I am lying! Her current mental health needs are putting me under a huge amount of stress, but she believes she’s completely fine. I am flabbergasted at the lack of insight in to how not normal our lives are (this is not DD’s fault).

I had good advice on this thread before, but now we have the forms arriving, I’m not sure what to do.

edited for spelling.

You don’t need DD to agree/sign.

It isn’t uncommon for some disabled teens to lack insight.

If DD is unable to manage a claim herself, you can still request to become appointee even if DD objects. Or DWP may decide DD needs an appointee but you wouldn’t be the right person.

@EndlessLight thanks; there’s no way DD could handle the claim herself (and she wouldn’t either). I also feel bad about pursuing it though if she’s so strongly against it , even if it’s for the wrong reasons.

Can I ask DWP to arrange an appointee for her?

If DWP think DD requires an appointee but there isn’t anyone able/willing, there are corporate appointees who can be appointed. This is a last resort though.