2.5yo very violent episodes

[tabithatwitchetwhatabitch]

Posting here because although we don’t have a diagnosis i’m 99% certain DS2 has ADHD/ASD.

When we are having hard times with him he is increasingly turning quite violent, hitting, kicking, flailing madly and ending up injuring himself (usually banging head on the ground) or trashing our things or his older brothers toys.
When we tell him off (not shouting) he laughs and when we remove him he takes the violence up a notch.
Where do we put him, what should we do in this situation?

We recently returned from a 5 day holiday with friends and the whole time away he was pleasant and sweet, but of course now we are home we are really paying for that.

The explosion now you are home after masking for the holiday is called the coke bottle effect. If the holiday was easier the fall out afterwards would be easier.

Have you tried keeping a detailed diary to spot triggers. It is always easier to try to prevent escalation in the first place than deescalate once DS is already mid meltdown.

Has DS had a sensory OT assessment? Do you have any sensory equipment? Some headbang to meet a sensory need.

Some people find the books The Out of Sync Child and The Explosive Child books helpful. Some of their content will be inappropriate because DS is so young, but some will help. Others find Yvonne Newbold’s resources helpful.

I would put older DC’s toys out of reach so DS can’t trash them

What are DS’s eating and sleeping like?

Has DS been referred for an ASD assessment?

@EndlessLight thank you for your reply. I have been recommended those books before, this is the kick up the bum to finally purchase them.

We've basically always been told "wait and see" by GP's and HV when we've suggested ND. Because he is very sociable and has no developmental delays I think it is hard for anyone else to see what we see.

Sleeping is okay, we run a very tight ship on that one so generally he does 7-6 overnight with 1/2 wake ups and then he has an hour nap during the day. He always seems tired though.

Eating again is okay. Becoming more fussy with a few "safe" foods and absolutely will not touch anything unfamiliar.

I would revisit the HV/GP. It is worth looking at the M-CHAT and Ages and Stages Questionnaires beforehand.

Is it a normal level of tiredness or to an unusual level? Tiredness in DC can cause behavioural difficulties. If it is to an unusual level, I would raise it with the HV or GP.

You could see if some of the ideas in this booklet help, too.

Home Start may be able to support you as well.

@EndlessLight thank you.
The tiredness I mention is more irritability, he appears quite hyper most of the time.

Just wanted to update and say that DS has now been referred for ASD assessment by the HV.