2 1/2 year old little girl

[Mumofone89]

Hi all I have concerns regards my 2.5 year old girl.
I will list below .
Doesn’t follow a point
Doesn’t point herself. (Only a couple of times to show what she wants)
Uses my hand to point at things or push something
Flicks fingers and shudders
Has started lining up toys to count them but quickly looses interest or knocks them over. ??
Constantly jumping.
No understanding of language
Can’t follow simple instructions, get your shoes for example
Eye contact varies
Answers to her name sometimes
No understanding of potty training.
Communicates with hand leading
Not interested in other children
No interest in her brother aside from occasionally trying to feed him or taking toys from him.
Diet limited ??
Has an interest in leaves and stones. Will put these in drains etc as part of a game
Does not call us mummy, daddy, nanny etc Pros
Will answer to her name sometimes
Sense of humour
Understands no.
Responds to visual cues such as showing her bottle and nappy knows it means nappy change and bed time
Can show you what she wants, eg bring you to pantry when hungry and bottle when thirsty
Can complete jigsaws.
Plays with toys appropriately.
Can pretend play. Feed babies. Etc. although seems repetitive.
Enjoys the park and plays on slide and swings appropriately
Engaged well with OT. Appears to have no issue with fine motor skills
Can climb without issue
Can count to 10
Can recite nursery rhymes and used to sing along with these on tv with actions. Not as interested anymore.
Can identify all animals and some things such as shoes and hats on cards
Plenty of babble and plenty of labelling.
Uses open, up, down, in, on appropriately

I'm hoping someone with similar experience could give me something Postive, whether or not your little one has improved over time or has utilised therapies that have helped.

Disclaimer I have been to see several professions and have sought out help from every available source for her development.

What have the professionals who you've consulted suggested? Is there any kind of plan in place to support your DD? Has she been offered Speech and Language Therapy? (I do know that waitlists are long now.)

Does your DD go to nursery? My DS was quite similar at that age. He didn't speak a word until he was around 4. He went to a Sure Start nursery from the age of 2 on a special programme that identified DC who were not developing in a typical way. I'm not sure if that programme is running any more though.

He really struggled at first (I had to sit in the Wendy house with him for 3 months but that's another story!). It did really help him though - and they also supported us through applying to primary and evidence-gathered for him to get on a diagnostic pathway for autism. He ended up with a support worker who tried to encourage him to interact with the other DC, who could take him out if it got too much etc.
I would say it really did help him prepare for primary in terms of getting to rub alongside the other DC.

I'm not saying that your DD has autism but there are some 'red flags' that would warrant investigation. Is she on the waitlist? If not, I would be pushing. Waiting times are around 3 years where I am.

I remember his early years being very hard. Especially as I gradually realised the huge gulf between his development and the other children at nursery. My DS is at secondary school now. He is on role at special unit for DC with autism but attends most mainstream lessons. He is taking 8 GCSEs and never stops talking! He will always have autism and finds some things incredibly hard but he's doing so much better than I could have hoped for.

You sound like a great mum, who's very engaged. I would say that is really important.

Thank you so much for your response. What a reassuring story regards your son. He sounds amazing. The fact that he's talking and is about to have a happy fulfilling life is all I would want for my daughter.
My DD had been to see a consultant when she was 15months. Minimal eye contact, missing milestones amongst other thinks. Due to her reaccurate ENT infections and febrile seizures they felt she was both too young and had been too sick to make any kind of fair evaluation. She now does a lot of the thing from that list she previously couldn't.
Consultant referred her for a hearing test (which we're still waiting on) so we went private and it was some what inconclusive. She had fluid on her ears during check up, but it had resolved by her hearing test and she passed this. They definitely suspected her hearing had been affected prior during her sicknesses.
We were also referred for ot assessment which we were called for last month and she passed with flying colours so seems to be meeting her milestones in regards to fine motor skills.
She was referred for speech therapy. Still waiting on this. We took her private. She is now on her 3rd session. The main things therapist is working on with her is her concentration. She will engage in an activity no problem but not for an extended period of time. She is always looking for next toy, but even this early on she seems to be doing a lot better.
Speech therapist has also said DD is a visual learner. This has been a break through for us. We have been showing her nappy for example instead of just saying "bum change" and she comes straight over. Same with her bottle at night, is a prompt for bed.
I'm hoping at home to build on this

Also yes she does go to a childminder twice a week. She doesn't appear to like the other children who are currently off from school and wev had a few tears going on in the last month, but generally she's pretty content going. She had a friend there who she seems to smile and parallel play. She mostly enjoys playing with toys on her own. Child-minder has said engagement is very much on her terms. Some days she might get her shoes, some not. She's very much a mixed bag.
The surestart groups in my area aren't offered to my post code. I do try play dates with other children but to be honest she's not that interested and it really just upsets me as I can see that she's different in her socialising than other children. I also notice that if I try and do too much in a day with her eg we went to speech therapy Monday then I took her to the park and lunch for a treat, which were both very busy, she seemed to twirl her hands a lot more than usual.
Does your ds socialise with others much now.
Is there anything that you would recommend that wpuld of helped regulate your son in certain instances ? I dot. Want her to be house bound all the time either, and want to put her out of her comfort zone

From what you've said, there are some very encouraging signs there. She really does sound a lot like my DS at that age. It sounds like there is quite a lot of understanding and engagement there which as you say, can be built on.

We could never manage any 'playdates' as DS would either scream his head off or completely ignore the other child. Whenever he was around other DC I would have to 'model' play/interactions with him and could never leave him so it was exhausting for us both.

I still find that my DS gets very tired by social interactions and by interacting with the world in general. He's never done any after school clubs/ hobbies because just being at school for 6 hours a day would completely wipe him out. He still spends a lot of time at home, playing by himself, reading, watching DVDs but I think that's his way of decompressing.

I do make sure we do things out of the house but I try and pace things. If there's a family gathering for example, I always make sure there's somewhere quiet he can go and I compromise with him eg 'if you eat with us you can go and read your book after' etc. I think that's probably quite standard for teens though!

It used to absolutely break me when he was at nursery and all the other kids would come out, chatting to their parents about their day. I totally understand where you're coming from.

When my DS was younger we used a visual chart that had the days of the week along the top and then we had various signs backed with velcro that we would stick on. So eg ' Mon' - TV time then nursery then lunch then playground etc. For my DC it really helped him know what was happening that day. We also had a sand timer so I would use that before we transitioned from one task to the next. Eg 'Peppa Pig off when the sand runs out'.

I think a lot of it is trial and error.

My DS still has no friends but it doesn't actually bother him. He has some very specialised interests that no other teens are going to be into (very specific periods of history for example). It used to upset me but that's more on me as I am a very social person. I do think that in time he will find likeminded people - possibly at university or maybe through some kind of volunteering role.

The fact that your DD has a sibling will also be a massive help to her.

They are really helpful tips thank you. I'm hoping she will develop more understanding of language so she'll have an easier transition into school. She'll be due to go in sept 2025 to pre pre if she gets a place. I feel like she'll struggle with interaction but it's reassuring to hear your little man was able to overcome that. Dd spent the day with family and is away to bed about 45mins early from the exhaustion of it. Bless them get try so hard

I'm also curious would your little man have had much of a sense of humour when growing up? It throws me off that my DD has such a cracking sense of humour, always making us laugh always trying to engage us in things she finds fun. She loved hiding in places she shouldn't and being caught. If told off she'll do the thing again eg trying to get outside in her bare feet and pyjamas she will stand at the back door opening handle gentle side eyeing us for a reaction 😂 she Loves all that kind of interaction. Those kind of Postive's through me for a loop as with the stimming of hands, at times I really think something is going on.
But I understand every child is different.