DD8 anxiety and ASD

[Richtea67]

Hi, looking for some advice and reassurance if people have experienced similar. My 8 year old DD has suspected high functioning ASD, and we are waiting for assessment from local services. More recently I have started to notice much more anxiety....in particular a lot of social anxiety and pre occupation about her weight and looks. I find the latter particularly concerning at such a young age. It's got to a point where she is avoiding things due to these worries. For example we're on holiday currently, and she is refusing to go to the evening disco, or play with anyone in the pool...just wants to sit with me reading. Aside from reassurance how else can I best support her through this? And also prepare her for the complexities of the teenage girl world!? TIA

Hopeful bump

When schools return, it is worth speaking to the school. Some schools offer things like drawing and talking intervention, Lego therapy, nurture groups which would help. Can you afford some mental health support while you are waiting for an assessment? Some areas have charities who can support DC with anxiety and depression too.

Would DD go in the pool if you went in too?

Eating disorders are more common in girls with ASD, so I would keep a careful eye there, insist DD eats enough and seek support early for an eating disorder if it tips over into restricting intake/excessive exercise etc. unless you think it would make things worse, you could look at female athletes who are strong rather than thin. And discuss how important eating enough is to be strong.

Could the social anxiety be the most at play here? How much is the body image stuff influencing her compared to perhaps feeling more overwhelmed by the social situation? It would be perfectly normal for my ASC DD9 to avoid a disco at a strange place with a load of unknown people.

thinking about the body image thing, I think it's really hard to fight against the constant exposure to the thin/pretty/trendy/fit "ideals" that young girls are up against. I try to be alongside my DD when she sees these things rather than ban her from it or shame any one particular body image. We look at my insta together, and I play her games with her on Roblox. It gives me a chance to see what she's seeing (though I probably only get to see like 5% of it) and we discuss it together. I try to mix up what we "admire" - I throw in some Lizzo, Billie Eillish and olympians in with the others.

I think ASC girls - to generalise - struggle a lot with understanding the "rules" around beauty and fitting in.