ND child at weekend residential. Due back tomorrow. There was an altercation and they went into meltdown then shutdown (ASC pathway). Teacher rang to let me know but was hoping child would come round. They appear to have come round now.
I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place.
I am and was happy to pick them up straight away but staff gave the impression they wanted them to stay if at all possible.
Additionally, I didn't want to be seen as a Precious Firstborn/Enabling/Don't trust the staff parent (child is not my first/I try not to enable or capitulate as SEND children can be naughty too/I do trust the staff completely).
However, I also don't want the staff to have their weekend compromised or the other kids' trip ruined. I have to trust that my child does not need picking up and that if it was a massive issue, they'd have told me to collect.
But I also feel awful for my kid as they might now be toughing it out/masking/being forced to show resilience when they just wanted to come home as they hated it.
We did speak on the phone but with staff present and they were in autistic meltdown. I feel I've let them down.
I'm not too lazy or tight to collect (the trip was expensive). I hope the staff don't think that. They were giving information/letting me know the situation. I don't think it's worthwhile staying if taking more than it gives but nor would I undermine staff decisions.
But I have been adaptive parenting for as long as they've been adaptive teaching so I know it takes its toll when said child is dysregulated.
I am still not sure if they hoped I'd be the parent that insisted on getting him regardless but I am used to direct communication so have taken them at their word that they are managing.