school starting autism assessment

[Escaperoom]

DGD age 6 and in year 1. Has had problems ever since starting pre-school nursery aged 3.5. Started with emotional dysregulation, meltdowns, hitting out at other kids and staff. Prior to that had what we thought were normal toddler tantrums and aversion to noise of hand dryers but seemed otherwise OK.

School helped with using more small group work, providing ear defenders in situations likely to be overwhelming etc. This went on into reception year but gradually decreasing in frequency. From time to time school would mention possible assessment for ND but nothing actually happened and DD didn't push for it. Now school say she is having problems with transitions and getting upset when teacher has to leave her (after some one on one time). She is also massively behind academically, cannot really read at all and can barely write her own name. DD now has forms to fill out and school will do likewise.

Social interactions are a problem also. Superficially she appears outgoing, social and confident but it is often inappropriate and she doesn't pick up social cues. She also has a very short attention span.
On the positive side she eats and sleeps well and isn't particularly faddy.

She is kind to animals and her little brother and has empathy when anyone is hurt or ill.
She doesn't seem to get overwhelmed in the supermarket, busy shopping streets, soft play, theme parks etc.
SIL was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult and DD wonders if that might be more likely than ASD as knows it can run in families.
I admit I find her very hard work when I am looking after her but then I am older now and have less energy. The main problem I have is that I feel I have to be 'on' her all the time when we are out and about because of her social interaction with other people often being a bit 'off' and the need to head off any possible problems.
If you have got this far my questions are

1. Does this sound like ASD to you or more likely ADHD? (or neither)
2. What is this school assessment? Is this to determine whether or not she warrants further investigation? and if so what happens next.
3. If she is diagnosed with some form of ND what help is likely to be available (or not).
4. Any advice on how to help her regardless of diagnosis. I love her so very much and I hate to see her struggling.

Thank you.

Hey 🖐️
Very interested to see replysn to this, I have a little boy that sounds very similar. Nursery started him on eha almost as soon as he started at 3.5. and like you IAM struggling to deal with him.
He's about to start school, and I'm feeling back foot on the whole thing.
I hope you find some help hear

1. It could be ASD, ADHD, both or neither.
2. DD should ask the school. Processes differ from area to area.

3&4. The vast majority of support is based on needs, not diagnosis. A diagnosis won’t automatically result in more support. It also depends on where they live. In many areas, DC are diagnosed and promptly discharged. The school should be providing support now. What support are they providing now? DD should also consider requesting an EHCNA - in their website, IPSEA has a model letter she can use. For DGD’s sensory needs, DD may find this booklet and this website helpful. Do they have any sensory equipment/toys, a trampoline?

What you’ve described isn’t screaming ADHD to me, but it is quite suggestive of autism, but who knows. She could get a diagnosis of one, both or neither.

The school’s SENCO will often observe how children are getting on to see if extra support is needed. The school assessment is most likely purely this. They definitely won’t be diagnosing anything merely seeing if more intervention/support is required. From there is might be more adults in the classroom, specific interventions/small group work, or they may go on to ask specialist teachers or educational psychologists to advise the school on how best to support. (This is all idealised. Often this doesn’t happen because the school doesn’t do what it should, funds don’t allow or there are long waiting lists for support from the LA.)

It differs in different places but the school won’t necessarily refer on for diagnostic assessment. This often involves going to the GP and getting a referral from there. Look up how it works in their area or speak to the school. The school, rightly so, will be focusing on identifying and meeting needs not naming conditions.

If DGD needs aren’t minimal, and it sounds like they aren’t, then either the school or your DD can apply for assessments to be carried out with a view to getting an EHCP. This outlines DGDs needs and what has to be provided to meet those needs. It is legally binding, so if, for example DGD is deemed to need 1:1 support for maths, if another child comes along who also needs enhanced support the school can’t just lump that child in with your DD and make it 2:1, like they could if they were just managing resources in the best way without anyone having an EHCP.

The actual diagnosis should make no difference, provision at school is put in place to meet identified needs, but in reality having a diagnosis can make some difference, although probably less so that it used to as the waiting lists for diagnostic assessments are so long that there are so many eg autistic kids out there without diagnoses. If DGD might need a special school in the future sometimes they state that they only take autistic children and so a diagnosis would be needed for that. Also short breaks provided by the LA are sometimes specific in that they say autistic children are eligible, but at other times they include, in addition, those with social communication needs or those that at waiting for assessments.

Diagnosis is often a bit of an anti-climax in that you think having the diagnosis immediately results in people swooping in to help. In reality nothing changes really other than you are a bit surer about the issues that a child is facing as someone else has confirmed they see what you see. Most of what you can do after diagnosis you can do before - read about autism and ADHD (Cerebra have a library of books you can borrow for free on such subjects), engage with parent carer organisations, put in place strategies to help - visuals, predictability, be aware of sensory overwhelm, put in place equipment and routines or help with sensory regulation, specifically teach social skills through social stories etc,. Most of all though just tune in to her and see what she needs and wants. Parent (or grandparent) the child you have not the child you would like to have had or the child you would like her to be.

]ApertureFraperture

Thank you for such a comprehensive and helpful reply. It really has answered many of my questions. I have to say as regards the school it seems to me that so far they have been brilliant with her but time will tell how things pan out in the long run and I understand that resources are finite. No doubt when DD gets an update about the results of the assessments she will tell me as we are pretty close.

I must say I did wonder if I might get a bit of flack along the lines of 'she is not your child - just butt out' etc. which I am happy to see hasn't happened. But the reason I am asking these things on here really is to avoid asking DD too much about it as I feel she has enough on her plate already without me hassling her and from reading I know a lot of people here are quite knowledgeable.

I do babysit quite a bit (and am pretty much DD's only back up plan apart from DSIL) and am sometimes stumped as to the best way to manage DGD when things go a bit awry and sometimes people do ask 'is she autistic' if she is getting upset in public and I am not sure what to say. When she stopped hitting other children when she was upset she started sometimes hitting herself instead, which I tried to stop her doing until I realised it might be stimming and maybe I shouldn't try to stop it.

I do agree too that she is still herself whatever the problems she has and I wouldn't ever want to change who she is, just want her to be happy and have the same opportunities to have a good life as any other child.