What happens in this situation re: two children

[Lucy807]

My sister has two children, elder one is 7 with PDA and challenging behaviour. If he doesn't want to do something there is nothing which you can to change his mind. He is also very strong.
His younger sister is about to start school in September. I don't know how my sister is going to get her to school every day. If her son doesn't want to go out, there is no getting him out the house. He doesn't currently go to school at the moment.
She doesn't drive. It's going to be nigh on impossible for anyone to sit with him twice a day for her to take her daughter to school and pick her up.
I know the local authority might provide a taxi but it seems crazy with a four year old. What about her wellbeing? How is she going to just get out and walk into school easily, she's bound to be anxious and need her mum too.
Their dad can't give up work as his income is needed but he has gone part time to help get their daughter to preschool.
I'm so worried about her. This is literally looking to be impossible. What do other people do?

If DF can drop DD at preschool can he drop DD at school? Or drop her at a breakfast club/a childminder? Then an afterschool club or childminder until DF has finished work? Do they have friends close by who could help?

Your sister shouldn’t rule out someone caring for DS if they can afford it. It isn’t always impossible.

Longer term, your sister needs social care assessments. A carer’s assessment for her and an assessment by the children with disabilities team for DS. Contact has model letters she can use.

Alongside social care assessments, your sister should request an EHCNA for DS. And if she isn’t electively home educating, she should request alternative provision for DS.

Has she also considered a wheelchair or SN buggy for DS? Sometimes DC find it easier to leave the house with them.

School transport is unlikely unless DD fits the criteria for herself, e.g. because they are over the statutory walking distance or meets the SEN criteria herself. School transport taxis don’t just drop a child in the car park and leave, though. They hand over to school staff. And if needed, they have escorts.

Following because I’m going to be in a similar situation in September except mine is trying to get 2 neurodivergent children to school at the same time which I’ve only been doing 1-1 with both while outside of the house up because it’s just to dangerous both of them together, really don’t know what to do in September when they both have to be at school at the same time

Is the father around to take her for an early drop at breakfast club / afterschool club to make the day longer so the dad do the runs and still work.
Can you pay a childminder / a mum in the class to pick her up and walk her to school and bring her home. Could you help?

Not easy but you will need a permanent solution for the girl to get to school without the boy and a backup for emergencies. The mum will need to stay with the boy. (Well that’s how I have managed it for yrs) and I would assume the boy 100% won’t leave the house as it’s not fair to stress out the little girl ….

Start looking now for help - don’t leave it until the last minute! People let you down too

Does the older child have an EHCP? If he is unable to attend school currently then the council should be arranging EOTAS (education otherwise than at school). Would it help if, say, a tutor or TA could arrive at 8.30 a.m.? Alternatively, can your sister apply for respite care at that time?

@Crazyhouse4 transport could be the answer. It can also include an escort. Or 2 if DC need 1:1.

Or you could look at a PA.

@Scruffily they can't get an EHCP as they've never been registered in school.

Whoever told them that lied to them. They can and should request an EHCNA.

In the meantime, if they no longer wish to EHE, they can inform the LA they are no longer EHEing and request the LA make alternative provision if DN cannot attend school.

IPSEA has model letters they can use for both of these.

We live 5 minutes walk from school so it’s a close enough walk but just not with both of them together because it next to the road the whole way. I definitely need a extra person to keep them safe, I think my partner will have to reduce his work hours in September to be there for school run times but I’m also saving for a SEN buggy for while we go out because of my daughters danger awareness is non existent whereas my son has danger awareness but is very impulsive that makes him get into danger 🙄 hard being a parent sometimes but wouldn’t change them for the world

@Crazyhouse4 it isn’t quick, but have you applied for a grant for an SN buggy? There are several charities who give grants for them. If both DC need an SN buggy, there are doubles available.

Really? I will have a look into a grant, that’s so helpful thank you

They certainly can. There is nothing in the legislation or code of practice that requires children applying for EHCPs to be in school.

@Crazyhouse4 you could look at Newlife, Caudwell, Boparan Trust, Florence Nightingale Aid in Sickness Trust, and Crackerjacks. Sometimes the funding can be for the full amount and sometimes it is part funding.

Also not quick but some in some areas wheelchair services will provide SN buggies too, but in some areas they won't for older children. They will only provide wheelchairs because they don't think SN buggies are developmentally appropriate,