Would really appreciate some help.

[indecisiveninny]

We have a 13 year old daughter who we believe is ND and we are trying to get referred due to ongoing behavioural and emotional issues both at school and at home.

School life especially has been awful and we are in an ongoing cycle of reactive behaviour stemmed from minor events, leading to time spent in isolation and into school avoidance

School has agreed that a ILP should be in place, GP has agreed that she will refer with report from school but we are 6 months on from an initial GP visit and start of email/meeting trail with school and have been no further forward.

Daughter is now completely disconnected from school and asks to be home educated on a daily basis.

After months of badgering we have finally had a report through from the school, written by the the schools SEND lead, who has never met my child and certainly from the report has not taken much time to understand her from involved staff, very much a copy and paste job.

Most information is there (apart from the huge amounts of time spent in isolation) and while it does largely support a referral the the way it’s written is poor with the opening page giving a generalised positive view of DD and her 1st few years at school, which was the case until hormones hit and she stopped being able to mask.

The school were very unaware of what format the report should take and what should be included, which as a very large comprehensive school I was surprised at and that seemed to have been the problem with the hold up as we had them coming back to us twice completely clueless as to what we wanted.

DH thinks we should make an appointment with the GP and submit as is but I worry that while all the information is there someone is going to take one look at that cover letter and stick her right to the bottom of the pile.

Firstly can I ask how other peoples schools have handled this part of the process? Is there a format that we are unaware off that they should be following. Am I over thinking how it’s written and someone will consider the whole part rather than make judgment from initial cover letter.

Is there anything else we should be asking the school for?

Any other advice would be really appreciated as we are learning as we go and really don’t want to make a mistake that delays support for DD.

Do you mean that you are applying for an EHCP?

Is this for an ASD assessment?

Go back to the GP for a referral for an ASD. Don’t wait even longer because the waiting lists are long enough anyway. There’s no set format for a report from the school. Any report will cover the positives and difficulties and the history, though. Having a good first few years won’t prevent a referral being accepted. It is common for ND girls to start to fall apart at secondary when the social demands increase and they can no longer mask. The MDT will be aware of the typical female presentation and look at all evidence in context.

Alongside a referral for a diagnostic assessment, have you requested an EHCNA? If not, you should. You can do that yourself. On their website, IPSEA has a model letter you can use.

What support is the school already providing?

What is DD’s attendance like? If she can’t attend full time, is alternative provision in place?

@BrumToTheRescue thanks for your reply, that’s really helpful.

Are you able to expand on what a EHCNA and what it will mean for DD?

Im going to be honest as parents that are new this we are finding all the terminology really overwhelming but very prepared to educate ourselves.

The school make all the right noises in meetings but in terms of support for Dd in school time it’s been pretty shit and not particularly consistent, some teachers are lot more understanding and clued up than others

An example of this is one of the involved SLT has permitted DD a five minute out pass, to be used when she feels tempers/emotions escalating, this works well but not all members of staff will let her use it and she has even been questioned on why she has it which as parents who recognise the 1 to 1 confrontation in front of peers & change of rules is so frustrating and will lead to more school avoidance.

We think a more flexible school week might work better for her but the school have never offered this as an option and we don’t know how it will work when we are both working (all be it, half time for myself)

Any advice on this would be really appreciated.

An EHCNA is an Education, Health and Care Needs Assessment. It is the needs assessment you first request as part of the Education, Health and Care Plan (EHCP) process.

If you request an EHCNA and the Local Authority (LA) agrees to assess (and if they don’t, you should appeal), the needs assessment will include seeking advice and information from a variety of people, including an educational psychologist. It can also include advice from people like an occupational therapist (OT), speech and language therapist (SALT) and clinical psychologist.

Then if the LA goes on to issue an EHCP (and again if they don’t, you should appeal), the EHCP can provide more support for DD. That can include an educational placement that better meets DD’s needs. It can also cover things like therapies DD wouldn’t otherwise receive or more frequently/for longer than she otherwise would and without the need to sit on the normal waiting lists.

The important thing is, support is based on needs, not diagnosis, so the school should be providing support now and you don’t need a diagnosis for an EHCP. The school must make their best endeavours to meet DD’s SEN and they must make reasonable adjustments. Request another meeting with the SENCO. They need to be providing more support. Complain about the teachers not allowing DD to use the timeout card. Follow up all meetings and verbal conversations with emails so you have a paper trail as evidence should you require it at a later date.

IPSEA and SOSSEN are charities who support parents with SEN matters. They have lots of useful information on their websites and helplines. Reading the SENCOP is a helpful starting point too.

You have the right to request flexi-schooling, but the school doesn’t have to agree and most secondary schools don’t. Even if they did, you would be responsible for education during the time away from school. If you get an EHCP, that can include provision away from the school site some or all of the week. In the meantime, if DD can’t attend school full time, the LA has a duty to ensure she still receives a suitable full-time education. If DD is unable to attend school full time, IPSEA has a model letter you can use to request alternative provision. Even if DD can attend school full time, it is worth asking school if they would be willing to consider alternative provision for a day a week - they may not but if you don’t ask you never know.

Personally if you have any spare cash I’d pay for a private EP it will be far more detailed than the LA one.

Personally, unless money is no object, I wouldn’t seek an independent EP assessment now before applying for an EHCNA. Anyone good will have a waiting list and you don’t want to delay applying for an EHCNA. Also, the LA e.g. agree to assess but not issue you may decide instead you desperately need to target your money at e.g. independent OT and SALT reports and the LA EP report will do (not brilliant but satisfactory compared to the need to get independent SALT and OT). And if you have to appeal further down the line, as many do, you want to make sure the report is still considered up to date.

If DD is asking to be home schooled, what are the pros and cons of setting that up for her? It sounds like it could make her happy and feel safe, which the school environment is not doing. Time out cards barely touch the sides for some kids.

This might spark lots of opinions and advice on MN about how to go about home educating and whether/how to manage it with the LA and any EHCP, all the admin and duties of the LA and all that.

I want to avoid all of that and just ask: have you thought about setting her up with some online schooling and self-directed learning?

I know the pp doesn’t want to go into the pros and cons of EHE, but I am going to mention it for the benefit of the OP. Personally, I wouldn’t deregister and EHE. It is easier, although not easy, to get support when DC remains in the system. Crudely, at the moment you are someone’s ‘problem’. If you EHE, it is easier for professionals to sweep DC’s needs under the carpet. At the moment, if DD is unable to attend the LA is responsible for education. If you EHE, the LA will say you are making suitable alternative arrangements, thereby relieving them of their duty. And an EHCP can provide far more support, including therapeutic support, than the vast of parents can afford to fund privately.

But that's just it @BrumToTheRescue , I don't want OP to get overwhelmed with the implications or the administration of the question. It might be good to just reflect in the question on its own as a starting point, and depending on the answer to go from there.

In order to accurately reflect on the question the OP needs to understand the implications. No-one can weigh up the pros and cons and make an informed decision if they don’t know what support is available, how to go about pursuing it and the implications of deregistering. There is a lot of misinformation out there on both sides of the decision. From if you deregister you can’t request an EHCNA on one side to if DC remains on the school’s roll but doesn’t attend there isn’t anything the school/LA can do and it will be recorded as unauthorised so you will be fined on the other side. You may feel differently, which is why I posted my pp to the OP, not you.

Hi, our daughter is also 13 and it only come to light last Nov that she is highly likely ASD. We only recognised this last year. It was apparent for years but we never even give ASD a thought. We had school refusal too as she really struggled during Y7 and Y8.
I sent an email to school detailing her difficulties and why I thought a referral for ASD was needed. What traits she was displaying etc…

Luckily, school have been brilliant and this was done within 3 months. I know others aren’t so lucky though. You really need school on board. Push and push again and again.
Im now applying for an EHCP myself as I know she needs a lot more than what school can provide.
If I were you, go back to the GP/school and insist a referral is made for ND and apply for the EHCP yourself. If they won’t do a referral, make a complaint. Try and buddy up with a member of staff in the school who you feel is supportive and knows her well (I know this easier said than done) That’s what I did. The SENDCO was crap, she didn’t know her, and I chose to speak to HOY instead, who was really supportive.

Don’t deregister her, don’t go private. Push and push for what she is entitled to. She will get assessed by an EP if LA agree to assess. But I do think you will need the ND referral in place first. Focus on that first. If you are not happy with the report from school, tell them why and you’d like it rewriting.

Im now going through again with my younger son. It’s much harder this time as school are not as helpful but I have learnt so much since last year I know now what to push for and will do.

Good luck with it and let us know how you get on. It’s hard, but you will get there.