What was your very bright, ND child like at the start of school?

[SJ198]

Just that really. If you can face the lengthy spiel there is more info below.

My just turned 4 year old is in a pre school attached to a primary school 4 days per week 9-3. He’s with me otherwise. He is bright. He taught himself to count around 2 and his maths skills now exceed his 8 year old cousin by some stretch. His speech and comprehension is way above what would be expected at 4. He’s beginning to teach himself to write via phonetically spelling out things on our blackboard. He has a photographic memory and can accurately describe things that happened many months ago.

His behaviour at pre school is hit and miss. He’s prone to being silly, sometimes low level disruptive and they describe him as ‘a character’. He attracts other children but struggles to make friends. They are aware he is bright but don’t quite realise the extent as they struggle to get him to focus. He is seriously lagging on gross and fine motor and the SENCO thinks he may be dyspraxic. Unfortunately, we were just out of area for the school catchment and it feels like they have somewhat washed their hands of us.

He is verging on completely unmanageable at home. He is absolutely hyperactive. He regularly comes home from pre school and trashes our house manically laughing or shrieking or hysterically crying. He won’t settle to anything and refuses most basic tasks. He went to bed tonight laughing hysterically ‘I hate you mummy I hope you die’. It’s absolutely impossible to connect with him which is heart breaking. He will sometimes ask for a hug only so he can kick me or push me over.

We are seeing a private OT in a few weeks to get the ball rolling re:dyspraxia. I just feel there must be something else going on. We had the HV around and she practically laughed at us he is so articulate and ‘social’ on the surface.

Would appreciate any experience or advice.

You would be better spending your money on Consultant Neurodevelopmental Paediatrician or an Ed phys.

maybe you could get an ASD diagnosis or even a adhd.

Personally I think the above 2 types of people have a better understanding than OT. If cash no object get all 3.

Good luck not easy - to answer your question my bright ND child was an angel at school for 3/4 yrs and then all changed. He was very hard work at home when he was “perfect” at school

Bright ND child has always been utterly angelic at school - and extremely hard work at home. Still the case now.

She was extremely early to talk and has always had a very extensive vocabulary. School were very surprised when she failed to learn to read... for year after year after year. Then she got the dyslexia Dx.

Her attainment and her CAT scores are as if they belong to 2 different children unless she happens to be exceptionally interested in something.

She's now doing GCSEs... I suspect she will get very high grades in some and complete fail others. She is very good at just sweetly telling teachers that she has no interest in their subject and none of it makes any sense. Utterly infuriating as with help, support and a fantastic and inspirational teacher she would probably do well at anything she decided she wanted to.

I have learned to pick my battles.

I have 3 ND DC and another with complex needs. They all presented differently in the early school years from the quiet, people pleaser to the one who didn’t cope.

The dysregulation following nursery is because they aren’t meeting DS’s needs. What support is the school providing? Will DS be starting school in September? Have you spoken to them?

Some people find the books The Out of Sync Child and too loud, too bright, too fast, too tight helpful. This booklet and this website can also be useful.

Have you spoken to the GP?