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Here you'll find advice from parents and teachers on special needs education.

I don't want to do this anynore

4 replies

TheTwirlyPoos · 19/05/2024 17:20

Im tired to my bones.

DS is 5 and a half and has just been diagnosed as having ASD though we've known really since before he was two.

He's unbelievably full on. I can't do anything with him around, I can't manage to listen to a conversation, sometimes even struggle to make a phone call. He does not stop talking. Everything has to be said to the fullest it can be. He loses his shit if he gets interrupted. He won't play alone. TV distracts him but that's all that does. When he gets silly he doesn't listen, gets disobedient, it's like the devil takes him over. Then afterwards we get tears and he says everyone hates him etc. He's very bright, he wants to know everything.

His sister is three. She is so unbelievably emotional. I never know what will cause a meltdown

They argue and bicker a lot. They can and do play nicely but there are a lot of arguments. I'm so tired of managing. I'm so tired of being shouted at. I'm so tired of repeating requests over and over again, day in day out. I'm tired of hearing yelling and I'll confess yelling myself. I'm so tired of questioning whether his behaviour is the ASD, normal five year old naughtiness, abnormal five year old naughtiness, or shit parenting. Every day feels like I'm going into war. I just don't want to carry on.

OP posts:
Whattodosen · 19/05/2024 19:44

Hi @TheTwirlyPoos , I have no advice but I just came on to post the same thing!
My DS is also 5, diagnosed with ASD at 4, on the pathway for ADHD diagnosis but local area won’t officially diagnose until 6.
I feel exactly the same as you, and I’m struggling to see the joy in anything at the moment. Do you get much of break?

cakecoffeecakecoffee · 19/05/2024 19:58

I feel you OP, it is so hard.

I often say that going to work is like a break as parenting DS is so relentless…. and I’m not kidding! Weekends are so hard!

we have to do and say absolutely everything in the order that DS is expecting otherwise he completely dysregulates. Of course this isn’t always possible! And it’s very hard for DD too.

I spend my whole time tired, stressed and pretty depressed. It’s a relentless frustration.

BrumToTheRescue · 19/05/2024 20:58

I’m sorry everything is so overwhelming right now. Do you have any support from family and friends? Some people find counselling helpful.

Are you and DS receiving any support from professionals/services/school? Has he had OT and SALT assessments? Does he have an EHCP, and does DD attend nursery? You could look at your LA’s short breaks offer. You can also request social care assessments - Contact has model letters you can use to request a carer’s assessment and an assessment of DS’s needs.

Some people find the books The Explosive Child and The Out of Sync Child helpful.

If it is something that you would be interested in, Scope offer mentoring to parents of DC recently diagnosed.

TheTwirlyPoos · 20/05/2024 19:21

Thank you all.

I feel so overwhelmed by everything, I need to organise Oat assessments etc but just haven't yet. No parental help at all. DD goes to preschool so I have time by myself in the day but it doesn't seem to help the time I'm not by myself.

They cry so much. There are so many tears a day.

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