Asd or adhd?

[mamaraptor]

My 3-year-old son has been referred to an Early Years Assessor. The nursery SENCO noted "classic signs of autism,"

Difficulties:

• Turn-taking
• Waiting
• Sharing
• Physical behavior (hitting happened twice)
• Lisp causing frustration
• Difficulty with transitions
• Sucks his thumb
• Short attention span
• Doesn't sit more than 2 minutes at carpet time

Positives:

• Normal language development
• Can hold small conversations
• Speaks in 3-5 word sentences
• Understands well
• Always responds to his name
• Eats well
• Sleeps well
• Happy and friendly demeanor
• Hits all milestones on time
• Doesn't mind changes
• Doesn’t have repetitive behavior or speech (is sucking thumb repetitive behaviour?)

He has a sibling with Asd/adhd with pda profile who is thriving in mainstream with support. We use visuals and pda strategies and have regular exercises, so our 3 year old was born into a asd/adhd friendly home. For me, his difficulties indicate adhd not asd, or am I wrong? Please help! Waiting for assessment seems like forever

Sucks his thumb and doesn’t like sharing? Sounds like most 3 year olds to me

Exactly, me and my husband have been joking about him being the most neurotypical person in our family. However, nursery says he has all the "classic signs of autism". I don't see it. So confused? And don't know how to address this situation

Some of the things you mention can be typical 3 year old behaviour, but I think there is enough in your post to warrant further assessment. They wouldn’t usuallg diagnose ADHD at 3.

I think at 3 that could all be put down to his age surely? Maybe they have more detailed observations that are more indicative of ASD but I'm not seeing anything that screams 'classic signs of ASD' there. Struggling with transitions might be an issue (one of my ds's signs earliest signs of ASD when I looked back). But it's quite hard to know at 3 based on what's on that list. I would just see what happens at assessment, he's still very young and it might not really be clear until he gets closer to secondary school age.

Do they know about the SEN sibling, if so that might be influencing their view of him. I do ASD and ADHD assessments and I am never keen to assess a three year old, the ADOS actually doesn't cope well with toddlers and it's not sensitive enough. He could be mimicking the ASD behaviours he is seeing at home.

I would just work on the aspects they are pointing out - not sitting for carpet time for example is a big early indicator, but if at home he sees there's difference in social rule following, it might make sense he doesn't do sitting for carpet time. Doesn't necessarily indicate ADHD or ASD, just that he doesn't buy into that particular social rule around him.

I think at this stage the symptom net for ASD is so wide virtually anybody could convince themselves they have it if they look hard enough. Your son sounds neurotypical, with the usual childish quirks all 3 year olds have.

Not everyone has “persistent difficulties with social communication and social interaction” and “restricted and repetitive patterns of behaviours, activities or interests” that “limit and impair everyday functioning” however hard one looks or tries to convince themself.

Thanks for your comment. Yes, they know his sibling’s Sen. I will wait and see what the professionals say while working on some social skills.

Thanks for your comment. You are right. I need to look into it but also he turned 3 a week ago.