Autism and hair cuts- what do you do?

[movingonsaturday]

Struggling with a solution to cut my 2yo and 4yo hair, both autistic and highly sensitive to having their hair touched. Up to recently I had a nice understanding childrens hair dresser and I squeezed them close to me while she cut it as fast as possible. This obviously caused a lot of distress, I felt guilty every time and now they're getting too big and strong to safely hold them.

The problem is they have the straightest, smoothest hair ever that just grows down in from of their eyes and they would be blind if we didn't cut it!

What do other sen mums do with their children's hair? We have tried the gently gently approach with distractions but they won't let you anywhere near them and it's actually safer to just hold their arms down by their sides. But it's just not going to work forever and if the trauma can be avoided then great.

They are both boys btw

Stupid question, but could you do it whilst they are asleep?

I could try, but it would look comically bad and they have A LOT of hair (Indian heritage) so that makes it more tricky

Have you tried a hairdresser who has experience with DC with SEN.

Have you tried clippers? Some DC prefer them (but some absolutely hate them).

We used to cut ds' hair when he was in a deep sleep. We used quiet clippers it would take a while and we had to pause often as he would flinch a lot while asleep. It's quite messy aswell we would move him afterwards. His hair is very thick and straight, it was the last resort we did this up until 6.

I have redressed wounds that initially required hospital treatment and cut nails while a child slept, but haven’t had to do hair! Hair cutting wasn’t too bad for us but nail cutting improved with age, so hair cutting may get easier for you too. In the mean time if you can work out a way of cutting it while they sleep this may be the easiest option so that bad associations aren’t built up. Half or a quarter head per night?

In this TV programme about a special school they show how they get the little kids’ hair cut. I can’t remember which episode it’s in but I think it is the first series. That approach may work in the home. Or if you could find a willing hairdresser just going in for a comb every day for a week, then one snip everyday for a week, then two snips and building it up.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000mpv2/episodes/player

Could you use a hair band or hair clips to keep the hair out of their eyes until it has grown long enough that it’s not a problem?

There are also child-only hairdressers and many of these specialise in kids with additional needs. Many have individual screens the children can watch and novelty chairs shaped like planes or fire engines. They also offer extra time appointments and are just a bit more clued up about how to get a child to cooperate than a standard adult hairdresser.

Mobile hairdresser. Took a while for him to feel comfortable with her. He sits and watches TV while its being done - she's very quick!

My son couldn't abide clippers, he had scissors ( and still does!) Initially we had to do the " pin his arms down" procedure, then we moved on to a mobile hairdresser and game boy! Through secondary school and university he just grew his hair longer and longer. It was only when he started work that he could see a reason for a hair cut which made the difference. Now he goes every 6 months, has it cut pretty short and with scissors still. But it has taken 30 years to get to this point!

My DS would freak out at the clippers too. His very patient hairdresser would use scissors. After 10 years of going to the same hairdresser, he will now tolerate the clippers. In fact, I took him last week for his six-month shearing and he sat in the chair by himself for the first time without needing me. I was so proud!

I would say what's helped us first off, is finding a patient, kind hairdresser (I have made her promise never to retire!). I called in to several first without DS to explain the situation and you can quickly get a sense of who's willing to help.

My DS had a similar terror of dentists. He's now under special care dental team. When we started going, he would just sit in the chair for a couple of minutes without them doing anything and gradually over several months they worked on putting a mirror in his mouth etc.
Do you think it might help working towards say just getting their fringes trimmed with scissors? Or trying to do it at home? For some DC with autism the little and often approach helps?

I do feel for you. Don't get me started on teeth cleaning!