Need help

[Ineedhelp1999]

I really need help with helping my 9 year old son.
I'm giving as much background as I can so apologies for the long post.

My son was born healthy and reached all milestones until he was 12 months.
He changed over night, he was a very late talker has speech therapy and very late using the toliet.
He had/has violent meltdowns,didn't/doesn't play with any toys.
Hurts other children a lot,and siblings and parents.
The health visitor referred him just before his 2nd birthday to paediatrics.
He was finally diagnosed at the age of 5 with Autism and since then been diagnosed with tic disorder and ADHD.
He has an EHCP and has a 1to1 all day, but at the momment he is part time.
His behaviour is awful, he throws chairs, tips tables up.
Hurts others, it is mainly when he is scared or that he thinks he is protecting others.
He is not in the classroom (he is in a room on his own with his 1to1 and may sometimes meet up with a couple of other students who also has 1to1).
But does go out to play at lunch and playtime.
He is really good with maths but his writing his unreadable and I know that effects how he feels about himself (they offer a laptop and they write for him if needed).
School have been amazing so im not slating them at all and are trying there hardest with the resources they have, but we are at a stage where a sen school maybe more appropriate.
I know his main trigger is transitions and leaving us.
And I know even if we got him into a sen school which around here is like gold dust I would have the same problem getting him in esp as I don't drive and it will be transport.
I feel like we are (us,professionals,school) are only ever putting a plaster on it rather then dealing with why it's happening and helping that rather then dealing with the behaviour after.
I know I could homeschool him but he wouldn't do any work at all and I feel I could not manage his behaviour 24/7 (I know that is rather selfish).
He has no meds for the ADHD as the paediatrician wanted 3 months of behaviour written by the senco and what they have put into place before they will entertain the idea.
I have 2 other sen children as well (one in sen school with learning disabilities but neither are violent and are doing well as they can be).
I just don't know what to do for then best, I can't sleep because I'm worried for him constantly.

I feel I could not manage his behaviour 24/7 (I know that is rather selfish).

I don’t think it is selfish. Having multiple disabled DC is relentlessly exhausting. It isn’t in the best interest of you, DS or your other DC to be in a position where you are burn out.

When are you seeing the paed again? If they still won’t prescribe medication I would request a second opinion. For some, medication can be life changing. If ADHD medication doesn’t help it may be another type of medication could.

It sounds like, you need an early review of the EHCP. The EHCP isn’t currently meeting DS’s needs. If education, at school or otherwise, better met DS’s needs it is likely home life would improve too. When was DS last assessed by an EP, SALT, OT and a psychiatrist &/or clinical psychologist? Other than the 1:1 what support is included? Any therapies? If DS can’t attend school full-time is AP in place? Mainstream isn’t working, if you don’t think SS would be appropriate either have you considered EOTAS? What does DS enjoy doing?

We are hopefully seeing the paediatrician in June, the school have not long done a EHCP emergency review to get more funding for him as before he only had part time help from a 121 and now he has full (well did until he started part time).

He had OT last year but the school has referred again as they feel he needs more.
He was seeing the EP in January for some sessions regarding his anger and attachment to me and his dad.
He also had ELSA last year.

Are you still within the appeal window following the early review? DS needs far more therapeutic input on an ongoing basis - OT, SALT, MH therapies, ongoing emotional literacy support. You don’t need a normal OT referral and to sit on the normal waiting list. If DS requires OT it should be in the EHCP. I also wonder if a more therapeutic AP would help somewhat e.g. a care farm.

I haven't had the draft copy yet so would that still be in the timeframe?

I agree with you, they put 4 sessions with OT and was not enough.
There is a service which the school can pay into which I'm looking at and will to the senco about it.

You don’t yet have the right of appeal. When you said the 1:1 had gone from part-time to full-time I assumed the EHCP amendments had been finalised following the early review.

When was the review? The LA must inform you if they are going to amend or not within 4 weeks. If they are, they must send the draft at the same time. Then, they have a further 8 weeks to finalise. Once finalised you will have the right of appeal. When you can appeal, you should appeal unless the LA makes the required amendments.

They have given him a 1to 1 full time just before doing the review because with out one they wouldn't of been able to accommodate him at all.
They have said they are amended it but am waiting for the draft which they have a week Monday to do.
The senco is really good so I will email her tomorrow to look at options as I really think he needs something to bridge the gap between home and school.
Thank you for replying.

If the LA has informed you they propose to amend they should have also sent the proposed amendments at the same time.

This is the email I received

Email the LA. They should have also sent the proposed amendments at the same time as informing you they intended to amend.