Heartbroken child

[dorsetem]

My dd received an echp acceptance letter yesterday. Waiting for ASD appt. ( 2 years wait currently). She is in a little village school where she started at the end of reception.
she had an Awful year 1 where she couldn’t control her temper and ran out the classroom when overwhelmed
Yr 2 was going better but it’s all gone wrong now. She is not allowed to play with a number of the girls and Friday came home in floods of tears as parents have complained about her and don’t want her playing with their children.( one was her apparent ‘best friend’). She is so upset and this time we are perplexed as to why the parents have requested this and the teacher doesn’t know why either. I don’t know how to support my dd. She may have done something, or it may be cliquey parents. How do I support her and her MH. Thank you for any advice. She is heartbroken and so am I.

I think you should speak to the school again about DD being ostracised by the other pupils. Even if the school doesn’t know why it is happening they can take steps to deal with 6 and 7 year olds excluding DD in school time. What support is the school providing to help DD with emotional regulation and social interaction?

School have been pretty supportive but it’s just these parents have stirred things. She is so sensitive but gets things wrong. She was so emotionally upset last night as she has never done anything to these girls as far as I’m aware and speaks so highly of them. I’m sure I’ll find out though. She does have an issue with another girl and that’s been ongoing and school has a plan in place to keep them apart. Both wind each other up. This though, has come out of the blue. I have an EHCP meeting next week to go through the new plan in school. Do they have to be even more mindful now with this in place? Thank you.

Any support and provision DD requires should be detailed, specified and quantified in F. Then, once the EHCP is finalised, the provision must be provided. This can include things like SALT and OT which can help with emotional regulation and social interaction.

Is the current school your preferred school?

Thank you so much for replying.
i think it’s my preferred school. I think these problems will occur wherever she is and she would be so upset if she left. The staff are very kind to her.
Last year I was convinced she was going to have to go to sen setting, but school said she could cope in mainstream and would unlikely get in. She is also quite bright, although does not get maths.
i would be really happy if I never saw the parents again as none of them are speaking to me. I am older than them and I don’t really care but it is very stressful.

I have a meeting next week to finalise plan. I will mention about salt and oh. She has been in the NHS assessment system for so long waiting for appointments.

but school said she could cope in mainstream and would unlikely get in.

What do you think?

If SALT and OT assessments were required they could have been part of the EHCNA.

When the EHCP is finalised if it doesn’t include all the support required, which it won’t do if not all the required advice was sought, you will be able to appeal. You will then need to look for independent assessments.

My DD is similar in that she had an awful year 2 where she frequently got overwhelmed and lashed out and a lot of parents told their children not to play with her (and they were naturally wary). I don't blame them for this as I wouldn't have wanted my child playing with someone likely to hurt them either! However I recently found out that some parents are still saying this even though she is now much better supported and hasn't had a meltdown in school in over a year, which I did find very sad. Fortunately the kids seem to mostly ignore it and school don't separate them just on parents say so.
When she got her EHCP I did ponder changing schools for a fresh start but didn't want to move her from the few good friends she's good, and her current school while not perfect is one of the best for SEN in the area.

I'm so sorry a bunch of adults are bullying your child via thier children. Some people are just plain vile, and really don't like disabled people.

The school /LEA always say your kid will be fine in mainstream. It's cheaper.
Don't just take thier word for it.
Research what provision is available in your area, including fee paying SEN schools. Make your own decision. You know your child best.

And remember, if the lea can't meet your child's needs, but a private SEN setting can, the lea have to have a good reason not to fund the placement.