I have a 13 year old DD and I have suspected that she might have ASD/Asperger’s for the last year or so. When she was younger we probably dismissed some of her behaviours as just slightly more extreme versions of normal young child behaviours, and also avoided/managed situations to prevent issues. As she is getting older it is becoming more pronounced and obvious that she is diverging from typical teen behaviours.
So far as I’m aware, she doesn’t have any suspicions herself that she has ASD. Although she can be very secretive so it wouldn’t surprise me if she does know she is a bit different to other children (eg she hid the fact she had started her first period from me for two days because she thought I might stop her doing an activity she really wanted to do - I wouldn’t have stopped her btw!).
I think I have been working on the basis that if she is happy (which she appears to be), then what is the benefit of telling her my concerns, and putting her through the stress of getting a diagnosis. But as she is getting older I am starting to see that perhaps the long term benefits will outweigh any short term distress it will cause her. But then again, what if I put her through this process and it turns out I’m completely wrong, how would that effect her mental health?
Is there anybody who has been through similar with a teenage girl and can give me their perspective please. And also if we did want her assessed, where would we even start? I know that waiting lists are long and I am prepared/able to go private to get her the support she needs.