Almost certain my child has ADHD - worried for her future

[Cherryblossom200]

Hi all,

My DD's father has ADHD, I'm in the process of completing her ADHD referral form and the school have completed their part. It all very strongly points in the direction of her having ADHD.

I'm really worried for her future 😟 her father struggled massively in school, and came out with no GCSE's, and lost all confidence and self esteem which is continues to struggle with at nearly 50. I don't think the school or his parents dealt with it very well.

I'm very proactive about it and want a diagnosis before my DD starts secondary school. But I just worry about how she will cope in school. Will mediation help, or are the side effects awful.

I'm just feeling a bit sad about it at the moment. I don't know why, as she's a very happy little girl which is most important. But she is underachieving in the main subjects.

What support is the school providing? Support is based on needs so they don’t need to wait for a diagnosis before providing support.

The school puts my daughter in smaller groups and she gets more help from the TA. She is on a one plan, and so far that is it. I don't think I can get an EHCP without a formal diagnosis. The whole thing is just painful.

You don’t need a diagnosis for an EHCP. You don’t need a diagnosis for the school to provide school level SEN support either. If the support the school is providing isn’t sufficient have you spoken to the SENCO again?

Bear in mind there are a lot of highly successful ADHDers with great careers who manage to exploit their strengths (and cope with challenges).

Medication is effective in making things more manageable for a lot of people.

It helps a lot if the environment is understanding and supportive of ND differences.

My daughter is 9 and been waiting a year I'm told the list is 3 years. I really worry as she struggles with emotional dysregulation really badly.

My daughter is in Yr5 and diagnosed ADHD and dyslexia. She is on medication and it appears to be helping a lot at school with concentration. Side affect is mainly lower appetite. She still struggles with mood swings at home. Even with a diagnosis we got refused even to assess for EHCP so we are appealing.

I have a 15 year old with ADHD and severe dyslexia.

She struggles massively with a few things, and excels massively in others. She's on track at the moment for a potentially very successful adult career.

It's highly likely that her ADHD and SpLd are directly responsible for both.

Although we didn't get the official Dx for the ADHD until last year, it was pretty clear she was since she was very little, so I've always assumed that she did.

Things that have helped us:

Medication - took a few months of tweaking, but 8 months in she has zero side effects bar needing melatonin at night to get to sleep, and it's had a fantastic effect on focus, fidgeting and she's also a nicer less argumentative child at home! The bedroom still looks like the aftermath of a recent hurricane though.

We focus on what she is good at and making that the most important thing for her, ignoring a lot of what she is bad at (I don't get upset by poor marks in subjects where she tries but struggles - I do with poor marks in subjects she's good at but is being lazy or hasn't done her best). The under-achieving is sad, but I would rather she wasn't stressed out and got lower grades. Finding good tutors early is worth doing to support in the core areas - tell them upfront what the issues are!

Getting lots of tech in place - smart phone with alarms, shared calendars, WhatsApp, school apps like 'Show My Homework', learning to use voice notes etc

Assuming that DD functions at a level 2-3 years younger than her chronological age and so not getting frustrated when she doesn't behave or function like most 15 year olds!

Finding lots of ADHD/dyslexic role models. We are lucky that in DD's main area of specialism it seems that neurodiversity is extremely common. Many of the teachers she has are also ADHD and/or dyslexic and are using similar work arounds to her. She also embraces it and is very upfront about it (it's horribly obvious so good thing!)

Obviously we've been very fortunate that DD has a skillset that gives her a pathway to follow, but my main focus has always been to ensure that she's happy and confident above any A grade or other factor.

This is amazing advice everyone. Thank you so much.

Her teacher said that in terms of her actual knowledge she is in the top performing pupils, but when it comes to putting pen to paper there is a disconnect. It makes me so incredibly sad, it's all locked in her head. Because the potential is all there.

It's seems like in some areas she excels and others she fails miserably.

But I had already planned to focus in on her strengths. She has a science brain, she is fascinated with how things work and had a real interest in the world and her environment. She gobbles up information about wind turbines and weird stuff like that 😂

I have told her that I think she has ADHD and that her brain is wired differently, this in itself seems to have taken the pressure off and she seems to already be doing much better at school.

I've only just submitted the forms to the doctor to be sent off. So we're along way off medication etc. She's in year 4, so I'm hoping it'll be in place by secondary school.

Has Dd tried using a laptop, assistive technology or a scribe?

Definitely teach her to touch type and get her on a laptop sooner rather than later.

Also look into speech to text software.

Mine went from handing in 2 lines of homework to a 2,000 word essay overnight!

My DD has adhd.

She is currently studying physics at Newcastle.

It can be done.

Thanks! Good to see there is hope 😊