Hi. I need some help and advice please! We're currently living in the US, expecting to move back to the UK in summer 2026, when DS will be finishing year 7. We lived in the Stockwell/Clapham/Brixton triangle and DS was diagnosed in the UK before we moved but between covid and a worse than useless SENCO at his school we didn't get an EHCP. We do have the US equivalent but it's quite a different system here.
We are starting to think about schools when we go back. DS is doing really well at his school here, which is private and has very small classes and is a lovely nurturing environment. We're incredibly lucky that DH's employer pays for this. When we go back to the UK, we are extremely unlikely to be able to pay for private school. I am worried that DS will not cope in a school that is big and loud with big classes, and/or doesn't have a strong SEN programme. He definitely won't be OK in a very strict school, he needs quite a bit of flexibility. He is extremely bright but struggles with focus, has slow processing and sensory issues. He's very imaginative and funny but will not fecking budge if he doesn't agree with what you're telling him.
I don't know where to start to figure out what schools might be good for him. I'm not confident about the secondary schools in our area though.
We don't have to move back to where we were before, we could sell our house and move out of London if this would be better- we'd need to be in reach of Westminster, for both our jobs. Ideally not too long a commute though because although DS will be 12/13 by then, on current evidence I don't think leaving him unsupervised for long periods will be tenable!
Can people a) recommend specific schools/areas in reach of London, b) tell me where to go for info, c) think of anything I should be thinking about but amn't?
We also have a younger daughter, so it would need to work for her too. She's way more flexible though, so I think a school that's good for him will likely be good for her - just obviously not if it's single-sex for example!
Thanks so much in advance for any help you can give me!