Meeting at school

[Trinity69]

Just after a bit of advice and guidance really.

My DD is 12 and was diagnosed ADHD about 2 years ago. Primary School also suspected dyslexia and screened but the result of the screening improved after her ADHD was medicated so we all assumed not concentrating during the screening.
She started secondary school last September and the wheels are falling off. She HATES it, in particular Music, Dance, Drama and PE. I have a meeting with the school on Tuesday at 3pm but because my daughter can’t tell me exactly what it is she hates about the lessons I don’t really know what I need to discuss/ask for. I’m aware that school can and should make reasonable adjustments and my first conversation will be about the being made to perform in front of the class. I see it as abject humiliation which if being forced upon her and don’t see why this HAS to be done. She’s been out of PE for a while as she has back issues but I have been given the all clear to go back by her physiotherapist, which is going to be another battle. I’m not even sure what I’m asking, maybe what reasonable adjustments have been made for your ADHD children (for inspiration, I’m aware the needs of all children are different).
She’s started refusing to go and has 6 unauthorised absences since going back in January (school have not contacted me to inform me of any of these absences. That’s a different issue but kind of gives you a clue about the school).

Performance in front of the class definitely isn’t essential. Does DD have SM? Another reason those lessons may be difficult for some is the group work (even without performance). How does DD cope with group work in other subjects? How is DD with noise? Those lessons can also be challenging for those with sensory difficulties. Would DD use noise cancelling headphones?

If DD’s absences are because she is unable to go in because of her MH/SEN they should be marked as authorised. Raise this at the meeting.

Ask if DD has an IEP (or whatever they call their SEN support plans) and what support they are already providing.

Other simple more general things that may help with the school refusal: arriving early or late, moving lessons 5 mins early, a quiet space at lunch and break, a key worker. Does the school have somewhere DD can go when she doesn’t feel able to attend lessons? Consider if you need to request an EHCNA. IPSEA has a model letter you could use.