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SEN

Here you'll find advice from parents and teachers on special needs education.

Where do you draw the line?

3 replies

Teaandsympathy · 08/02/2024 14:07

I know this is a very difficult one as children with SEN are so different and have different abilities BUT where do you draw the line between supporting your dc and expecting them to take some responsibility?

My DD11 is driving me to distraction at the moment with getting ready… in the mornings particularly but also in the evening. Today she came downstairs, 30 mins after being woken, 15 mins before we need to leave, half dressed complaining the tights I’d given her were too big! She hadn’t eaten breakfast, no hair done, still needed to do her teeth after breakfast. I’d checked on her intermittently and so had DH. 🤯

She has asd and adhd so I know these things can be hard but I do all the things, break it down for her, I do her bag, I get her stuff set out for her to put on. All she needed to do is put her clothes on and eat and she can’t seem to even do that! She’s VERY bright so it’s not an understanding issue.

I’ve said she needs to start going to bed earlier until she can get up and get ready timously. 10 mins earlier every time she’s late downstairs (I’ve asked her to be downstairs dressed 30 mins before we leave and I give her plenty of help and reminders to achieve this)

Does sound reasonable? What else can I do. Short of physically dressing her, which I can’t realistically do at her age, I’m not sure what else I can do.

as background she has ups and downs about school but things are pretty good at the moment save for this getting ready issue.

OP posts:
SearchingForSolitude · 08/02/2024 15:06

Going to bed earlier is unlikely to solve the issues in the morning. Rather than just reminders and intermittently checking on DD have you tried handholding all the way through the morning routine e.g. handing her the tights and getting her to put them straight on there and then.

Teaandsympathy · 08/02/2024 15:33

Hmm I hadn’t considered that. I have 2 other younger children to get ready and get breakfast for so it wouldn’t be ideal and DH leaves very early but might have to.

I do think more sleep would help as waking up seems to be a large part of the issue… but getting her to bed at a reasonable time, let alone asleep, can also be problematic.

it is exhausting

OP posts:
SearchingForSolitude · 08/02/2024 18:16

Does DD take melatonin or another medication to help with sleep?

DC with additional needs often need far more scaffolding for far longer than DC without additional needs. In the short term at least mornings are not going to improve without more input from an adult.

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