Non verbal toddler upset about newborn

[LL01843]

I just had a baby 2 weeks ago and my 3 yr old daughter is very upset by this. She doesn't like the crying and when I am feeding the baby. Iam finding this really hard as she is non verbal so I can't talk to her about it. She's usually really happy and now she crys when iam with the baby, this is really upsetting me and it makes me cry thinking about it. Has anyone else been through this? Iam worried she won't ever accept the baby.

Will DD use ear defenders?

Even though DD is non-verbal can she communicate in other ways? What is her understanding like? Even if you couldn’t have a 2 way conversation would she understand you speaking?

If you don’t already, using a sling could help.

A new sibling is a big adjustment for all DC, it can be even harder for those with additional needs, it doesn’t mean it will always be like this.

She can direct our hands to things she wants, don't think she would be able to understand if I explained it too her. I don't know why it's effecting me so much. It seems other people just get on with it.

You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. You have a newborn and a disabled 3y/o. You have far more on your plate than the average mother of a newborn.

It is worth looking whether you have Home Start in your area.

My DD who has ASD had just turned 3 when her baby sister was born and it was AWFUL. Everyone told me how much she would love being a big sister but she struggled severely with the transition (this was before we knew she was ND.)

She would scream every time the baby cried, become hysterical when DH held the baby, she wanted all the baby’s clothes and couldn’t understand why they weren’t hers, those first few weeks were very difficult. Things settled down after the first month or so and she would take a little peek into the Moses basket at her every now and again but largely ignored her until she was around 7-8 months and playing on the floor. One day eldest DD just sat down on the floor beside the baby and they played and laughed together. The rest is history. They are now 5 and 2 and are honestly the world’s best friends. They are like a little double act, always with each other (always fighting too!) and eldest DD is besotted with her little sister.

Hang in there, it gets so much easier! 💐💐 xx

Thanks @Thatsnotevenmyusername did you get really upset by it? as sometimes when my daughter is getting upset and crying it makes me cry and feels like I let her down somehow.

@LL01843 I was devastated, I cried constantly in those early days and thought I had ruined my DD’s life by having another baby! It broke my heart how difficult she found the transition but two years down the line it’s the best decision we could have made for our family, the girls are the best of friends and my eldest DD has really benefitted in every way from having a sibling, having youngest DD there provides my eldest with lot of reassurance support when we are at parties and play dates, she’s like her comfort blanket! Xx