Help and advice and encouragement needed please

[Adifferentwayoflooking]

My son and daughter in law have returned from the Nursery parent teacher consultation in great distress. My three year old grandson has delay in many key areas. He was slow to crawl and walk. His language development has been slow. Apparently he is presenting a year behind his peers.
He is a beautiful, loving, very sociable child. They have complained that his processing skills are weak.
I am a secondary teacher but retired and out of date.
I have always disliked labels and I hate the feeling that at three my lovely grandson is failing.
I know in many areas he is slow but he loves letters and he has picked up how to read many words. His gross and fine motor skills are poor.
Can someone please point me in the direction of a Beginners Guide to SEN? Should we pay privately for an Educational Psychologist to assess and report on his difficulties?
Please help and thank you for any encouraging advice

IPSEA and SOSSEN are excellent resources. They both have lots of information on their websites and have advice lines. The SENCOP is long, but also worth reading.

DS and SIL should request an Education, Health and Care Needs Assessment (EHCNA). An EHCNA is an assessment of a child’s needs, which will include an ed psych assessment, that can lead lead to an Education, Health and Care Plan (EHCP). An EHCP is a legal document that sets out a child’s needs and the support the require. It can provide support DC wouldn’t otherwise get.

What support is the nursery providing? If they need more advice they can request in from the Area SENCO. If they need more funding to provide support the nursery can apply for early years inclusion funding.

Has DGS been referred for assessment/support or is he under any professionals e.g. paediatrician, SALT?

If they have Portage in their area and they still support DC attending nursery, DS and SIL should look at a referral to them.

Thank you so much for replying. I am really grateful.
I will investigate the websites

Might I ask a stupid question? It was suggested by someone at his nursery that my grandson has some neurological damage due to his forceps birth. He has some mobility issues, hyper mobility some muscle tics. The one are that he is performing within his age range is literacy. He is starting to recognise lots of printed words and he knows his letters.
Can he catch up with his peers? There is no suggestion that he is autistic although I wonder if he might have ADD.
Is it worth coaching and working with him so that he can start school in not such a dire position. I hate the thought that he will quickly realise that he is failing school.

I think it is worth further assessment. Impossible for anyone here to say if DGS will ‘catch up’ or not, sadly - it is hard when there are not the answers you want, the unknown is difficult. The best way to go is request an EHCNA and ensure there is an EHCP with all the support required. As well as pursuing medical assessments e.g. paed if not already in hand.

Thank you again, You sound wise and informed.
I so want to help in the right way. I think one of those ways might be money. How long is the waiting list for an assessment for an EHCP? Would it help to pay for an assessment with an educational psychologist to speed up the process? How does one find a local properly qualified assessor?
I know we will all feel better when we are given a formal assessment and we develop a proper plan to support him.
Our London Borough has no money and although schools do their best, there just isn't enough help and support for SEND students.

The EHCP process is governed by statutory timescales. If you don’t have to appeal the process takes 20 weeks (well, LAs often take longer but the timescales can be enforced if they breach them). However, many do have to appeal, sometimes more than once, which takes time.

Personally, unless money is no object, I wouldn’t look at an independent ed psych assessment now. I would save you money for if they need to appeal, potentially more than once. I would focus on helping DS and SIL request an EHCP, get NHS referrals, and apply for DLA (Cerebra is another charity and has a guide you can use). If you do want to spend privately I would look at SALT and physio assessments over an ed psych assessment because, at this stage, they will be more helpful day to day.

Thank you @SearchingForSolitude
You are very kind. I can't tell you how much I appreciate some pointers towards the SEN journey. It all feels scary, so much to negotiate and fight for. I fear running out of time before reception.
Are there any SEND forums you would recommend ( outside Mumsnet). I had to negotiate a cancer episode and found the dedicated uk site and forum a huge source of support and comfort.
Is there an SEND UK community forum ? There is so much to learn.

I sorry to hear about your cancer. Scope has a forum, but I wouldn’t say it is the same as e.g. cancer forums. There are lots of local groups you could look at and if you are on other social media such as Facebook there are lots of groups both local groups and national ones aimed at e.g. the EHCP process. Some special schools hold play groups, if there is one locally they can be a good source of support. You are welcome. It is overwhelming to begin with.

Hi OP, I think any support you can give will help a lot.

It is overwhelming. My DD was diagnosed with ADHD and ASD in autumn 2020. She's doing well now at 11 in large part thanks to the many kindly adults in her life. My retired friend from choir has been exceptional with her!

I run an EHCP support thread on here which you are welcome to join. At least you will be able to find out the meaning of all the jargon and abbreviations.

EHCP support thread no. 2 - www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_educational_needs/4989146-ehcp-support-thread-no-2