Benefits of ADHD diagnosis for teen

[LittleRedRidingBoots]

Advice needed please.

I've felt for quite a few years that my 13 year old DD has ADHD. It wasn't too obvious as a younger child but as she's growing older the behaviours she displays seem to be becoming more challenging for her and she's starting to struggle at school more than she was. Her memory is terrible and she struggles to follow basic instructions even with consistent repetition. She can become very restless and starts distracting people, which she then is punished for and gets quite upset about as she's generally a lovely kid who wants to 'be good'.

I have approached the school who have put some provision in place (fidget ring thing that she can fiddle with and access to the school wellbeing practitioner to support if she's feeling particularly emotional) but school have said that this is all they feel they need to do at present. The wait time for assessment locally is 2 yrs plus even if school did make a referral for her.

I suppose my question is - if I sought a private assessment for her, or pushed the school more into referral to the NHS assessment, what would be the benefit to her? I don't feel she needs medication but would a diagnosis allow her a bit more understanding at school? Im conscious that I don't want her to be 'labelled' but also don't want to miss an opportunity to support her.

Any other tips to support her gratefully received!

Thank you for reading this far

I have a 14 year old DD with ADHD.

For us medication was the key thing.

When she is medicated, strategies work and she can focus and stop fidgeting and is a fairly normal, rational teenager.

Without the meds it's a waste of time and I may as well talk to the walls.

I suppose a diagnosis may mean that school have more patience, but that depends on what areas are the main issue for your child. Mine never had detentions or got into trouble at school - it was all around focus and anxiety there.

At home it was the coke bottle effect and so I could have happily handed out detentions for everything!

In terms of support - assume they are at least 2 years younger than actual age in terms of expectations and support. No point expected them to remember to pack what they need for school - you will need to either do this or supervise closely.

Smart phones with calendars are helpful and I WhatsApp DD every morning a list of things to remember for school and another straight after school with things for the evening. Basically act like a PA for them. Assume they won't remember and it's easier.

I also have DD's email accounts on my outlook so I can see what she hasn't bothered to respond to. Plus homework apps etc.

Since I gave up trying to make her responsible, life is much easier and sometimes she surprises me by doing things without my prompting.

A diagnosis can give DD (and others) better understanding of herself.

You may not think DD needs meds at the moment, but you don’t know what the future holds, including exams, and it would be easier if DD already had a diagnosis.

Support in school is based on needs, not diagnosis, so if you think DD needs more support in school push for it now.

This is really helpful, thank you. It's interesting that you mention feeling less stressed since you stopped trying to make DD more responsible - this is where we're at now but it's honestly like fighting a losing battle! Maybe I need to try it from the angle you've suggested and see if we're all a bit happier that way.

Thanks again for such a helpful reply

Yep, I think back to the school will be my next step. Thank you ☺️

DD might be slightly too young for it now, but some find Brain in Hand useful.