We're looking for a school for our autistic nearly 4 year old daughter who has quite significant needs for support currently - she is about to get her EHCP which will definitely be ready in time for the start of the new school year.
We are torn between special schools, mainstream primaries and primaries with a resource base. Our main consideration is that we want to find her a place where she will feel comfortable, happy and included and where she has the best chance of making friends. She has recently started to feel very lonely - we can see that she desperately wants to make some friends but does not know how. She is minimally verbal and we noticed that she tries to learn language that she could use to make friends, so she will repeat to herself phrases such as "Hello, how are you?", What's your name?", "My turn, your turn" or "best friend". It's at once very encouraging to see her have this motivation to connect with other children but also very difficult because we know she struggles with it and we know that it will not be easy for her.
My question is, would she be happier if there were more children 'like her' around, i.e. in a mainstream where there are a lot of other autistic children or a base or special setting or would it be better for her to go to a mainstream where there are few SEN children but where they can offer her more support because they are less overwhelmed? We are currently applying to mainstream primaries and are torn between a smaller school with few SEN children but a lot of support (she could get 1:1 support there) and a larger mainstream school with a lot of SEN children but less support available because the staff have many more SEN children to care for. Where could she feel less lonely? I am leaning more towards the smaller and quieter school but I worry that she may be 'the odd one out' in her year - the only child with autism. And if that's the case, would it be more difficult for her to make friends? I know that school is realy big on educating all pupils on neurodiversity ...