Struggling with decision to have another baby when first has cerebral palsy

[Scaredofeverything22]

Hi all,

so for context my DS was born in 2022 very prematurely at 28+3 due to spontaneous labour (still have no idea why - no problems in pregnancy and docs couldn’t find a reason). He had a brain bleed at birth which resulted in brain damage (PVL). Fast forward 16 months and he has been diagnosed with cerebral palsy. He is not able to sit unaided, crawl, walk yet etc.

He is the light of our lives and we are absolutely loving being parents. I’ve always wanted two close together, but this little guy is going to have a tough road ahead of him. I honestly have no idea what milestones he will meet, if I’m being realistic. He’s in physio/OT/Portage weekly and I take him to a charity for CP to get an extra physio session each week too.

I guess my question is that I would love another baby, but is it selfish? I can’t help but think I should devote absolutely every minute I have to DS to ensure he has the best quality of life. Obviously another child is a lot of work and I can’t help but feel guilty of splitting that attention. I also work full time too.

i just can’t shake the feeling of wanting a bigger family and siblings for DS. Are there any parents that have had a child with a disability as their first and gone on to have more that can share their story?

Thankyou x

oh my how wonderul that they pushed you to achieve!. I’ve just been focusing on the negatives so it’s really helped hearing that perspective Thankyou so much x

his consultant won’t assess his severity until he’s around 2 I’m told, but he’s not on the very severe end IMO. He has noticeably stiff muscles in both arms and legs but mainly legs, paired with the delay in milestones. He’s only a baby still so as in your case too there’s so much hope in what he will achieve!

im 26 so do have the option to wait and see how he develops x

Hi I have a 15 month old with cerebral palsy. I also have a 7 and a 9 year old. They are so good with their little brother and he adores them. IMO you’d be doing your baby a favour by having a sibling for him. Obviously wait until you feel ready, but I believe that a sibling (s) would bring him a lot of happiness. And not hold him back but potentially do the opposite.