Chances of two kids with...

[SleepingStandingUp]

So just reading a few threads about genetic basis for ASD and this inheritance rates amongst siblings.

Does anyone know the actual likelihood of my twins having ADHD or. ASD as we've recently being given an ASD diagnosis for 8 yo. Twins are 4, just. I'm just wondering how alert I should be and what I should be saying to school.
I'd say they seem like typical kids but what do I know about typical kids? Their speech is behind but we blamed that on teinness. They're hyper and spirited but they're just 4. For added context, DH was 45 when they were born, and me 38

From what I have seen speaking to many other SEN parents at local support group, neurodiversity is genitic, sorry.

My 4 year old boy is on the ASD waiting list, his speech is behind and his paediatrician highly suspects ASD as he displays a lot of the traits. His sister is 1 years old and is doing the things that he never did when he was that age, ie, trying to talk, playing with toys and not just lining them up, bringing me things to show me, copying, clapping, waving and pointing. I highly suspect it is genetic, my dh is on waiting list for ADHD and there are a few ASD people (all boys/men) on his side of the family. Girls can mask very well so if my dd is on ASD spectrum, then it is too early to tell, even though she is displaying neurotypical traits

For us it was having a second child do all the 'normal' things that the first didn't that really cemented the idea he was ND. The more we dig the more I think I'm autistic and ADHD runs strongly in DH's family. Eldest has both.

I don’t know the figure but it certainly seems very genetic and their are undiagnosed autistic people in the wider family.

We have two kids, one is NT. A strong consideration about having any more was that I didn’t think I could manage another autistic child. My lovely autistic child is a sweetheart but the meltdowns are really hard and I could keep them safe and a baby.

I have twins. DTS2 has ASD and a learning disability, DTS1 is NT with no learning difficulties. DD and DS3 are NT with not learning difficulties either so 1 of out 4 with ASD.

DH has a niece who I picked up on at age 2 and encouraged SIL to push for assessment as I just knew the signs. She's a mini genius though so affected differently than DTS2. Neither DTS2 or niece have what could be termed as meltdowns, sensory and food issues, lack of eye contact or delayed speech.

No other DC either side of our families affected and there are 24 nephews and nieces all together. Nothing further back either although I have a suspicion FIL may be on the spectrum. DH doesn't agree!

DS3 has an unrelated medical condition which is also thought of as genetic but no one else in either mine of DH's very large families has it, nor any history of it.

I'm from a large family my nanna had 6 kids so I have 23 immediate cousins, 20 of us all have an nd diagnosis either asd or adhd. Some as late as age 35 due to their children also having needs. The majority of our children are also nd and some quite severe. I have 3 children all 3 are nd my middle and last are specialist education my eldest is mainstream but very vulnerable. The family's that I know with diagnosed children have then gone to either have further children and they are also nd or the older child gets a diagnosis after the younger sibling has been identified so although people say its 50/50 I think the reality is far different at least it most definitely is in my world.

Growing up it was just my brother who was the autistic one. Then I realised I'm ND and got ADHD diagnosis (cba to do autism atm but probably that too), and then realised that at least one of my parents, uncle, at least half my grandparents also all seem to be. My partner's family were all thought to be NT till we started looking after realising DD wasn't. 20-70 years of being NT but maybe not after all, not "bad enough" to cause enough problems to be assessed but they/we have a lot of traits going on.