How young is too young for therapy?

[JackTheSad]

My 4 year old has been referred for ASD and ADHD lists within weeks of him joining reception. Now an OT referral too. He is incredibly anxious, can be aggressive, bolts a lot, unable to focus, flaps his hands, just took him to a school disco which ended with us both sobbing and him trying to hurt himself

I'm really struggling to cope and my DH is not on the same page as me.

Anyway, the excellent form teacher is referring my son for CBT. Is that really gonna work for kids so young? I could afford to pay for a child psychologist but presumed it was useless at this age.

I do have some savings and I'm 100% willing to spend it all on doing everything I can to support my DS. But don't know what I should do. The school told me to not get private diagnosis because they may not accept recommendations so no point.

Any advice on whether CBT/psychologist is any use at this age?

The school cannot refuse to accept independent assessments and diagnoses just because they are independent. Also, support in schools is based on needs, not diagnosis. What support is the school providing? You should consider requesting an EHCNA. On their website IPSEA has a model letter you can use.

Have a look at play therapy. CBT strategies can be used with young children. It depends on their developmental level and obviously doesn’t look like an adult therapy session.

Thanks for replying @KeepGoingThomas and for the advice.

On the national autistic society website it says "local authorities may not accept the results of private diagnoses. They might insist upon an NHS diagnosis before they will provide services to you and your child" - towards bottom of thus page https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/diagnosis/pre-diagnosis/parents-and-carers

The school aren't refusing to accept diagonsis. They are the ones pushing for it - they have however said they couldn't guarantee following the recommendations from a private diagonsis as its not just not viable

The school has been kind though. They have told me they think he can stay in mainstream. Referred us for OT and CBT but just everything is taking a v long time.

They are managing just about with him but I think he is spending most of the time in the sensory room.

They keep saying he has anxiety and asking if he has experienced trauma - which he hasn't.

One thing I worry about is his lack of friends. He is ignored by all other children and I've never seen him engage or play with a single kid but the teacher tells me they're are trying to orchestrate friendships but it's tough going. My son is v sad about lack of friend and often talks about how sad he is that no one likes him but I presume this issue would be the same in any school.

I will look up the EHNCA. I think I may need to ramp up my efforts. He is very scared in the mornings

LAs and schools cannot have a blanket policy of refusing to accept independent diagnoses just because the assessment was independent. And SENDIST looks at all the evidence. Many schools and LAs like to say they don’t accept them, but such policies are unlawful. NAS’s page needs amending - they should know that.

Schools must, legally, make their best endeavours to meet a pupil’s SEN. Diagnosis or not. Private assessment or not. If the support a pupil needs is in excess of what they can typically provide at a SEN support level, they should request an EHCNA and, whilst doing that, apply for high needs top up funding. This applies whether the pupil’s needs and the provision they require are highlighted by an independent assessment or not. What support is the school providing now?

One thing to note, some DC who are autistic experience trauma from events others wouldn’t consider traumatic.