Looking for advice for sensory issues around sound

[LookingForHelp2023]

Just looking for some advice from seasoned mums of ASD children.

I have 2 children – both ASD (one diagnosed at an early age and one only recently diagnosed at age 11). I am looking for advice for my 11 year old.
In recent years they have had a lot of time off for school for being unwell – it was either tummy ache or sore throat. This was to the point I took them to see the GP because I was concerned about the frequency of illness (in the presence of seemingly no other issues at school).

Since diagnosis I have come to realise that it wasn’t wore throat/tummy ache but feeling of being overwhelmed and burnt out. Since diagnosis this has increased somewhat, where they are usually absent from school maybe one day a fortnight.

They have trouble expressing themselves (currently undergoing SLT assessment) so can be difficult to understand what exactly they are feeling. The most recent issue is around noise and noise sensitivity. Today is day 3 of being unable to attend school due to noise. They have ear defenders, but they won’t wear them because they don’t like how they feel on their head. They also have loop ear plugs but say they don’t help. School are pretty useless (they refuse to accept that they have ASD, and have simply stated that there is nothing wrong with them! – that's a whole thread in itself!!!)

My question is – how the hell do I help my child? I have approached school again today and am waiting on a reply from them but based on my previous interactions with them I don’t expect much help from them. I hate seeing my child so distressed at the thought of going to school, as it used to be a place she loved.

How close is she to things falling apart all together? Would a few additional adjustments (leaving lessons a few minutes early to avoid the melee in the corridors, a quiet place she can go at break and lunch, a time out pass so that she can just leave without having to negotiate it, specific sessions to learn about interoception, dropping a subject to give her some space to chill etc) make a difference or are you beginning to think continuing to attend this school is going to break her? It is sounding like you might be at the stage of requesting an EHCNA.

My DS also hates the sensation of wearing ear defenders. Try putting them on yourself, they don’t actually take that much of an edge off the sound. If she’s already overloaded it may still be too much, plus whilst you are taking some of the sound away you are adding a different physical sensation that she finds hard to tolerate. Really they also should not be on all the time. The benefit of them fades and her sensitivity to sound just gets dialled up even higher. Ideally the environment should be such that she can cope without them most of the time.

If verbally communicating issues is difficult have you tried using visual prompts, either as suggestions she can say or for her to point to. A map of the school and/or a list of subjects for her to identify where things are difficult and a selection of phrases, possibly with corresponding pictures to help her identify how he is feeling may aid discussions.

Edited as assumed DC was a boy.

I second @PenguinsPlayDodgeball‘s post.

In addition to the excellent suggestions already made, the school could look at placement within the classroom &/or swapping classrooms (the sensory environment can be different in different rooms even with the same people/noise in them). Arriving/leaving school 5/10 mins early or late &/or via a quieter area. Do they have a quiet lunch club DD could attend? If assemblies are too much, removing the pressure to attend those. Have they looked at what lessons &/or teachers DD struggles most with?

Remind the school must make their best endeavours to meet pupils SEN. DD clearly has SEN whether they accept the diagnosis or not (and they have no right not to, they are not medical professionals). Follow up verbal conversations with emails so you have a paper trail.

Has DD had a sensory OT assessment?
Would DD try other noise cancelling headphones or earphones?

Definitely request an EHCNA. On their website, IPSEA has a model letter you can use.

In the meantime, if DD can’t attend school the LA should be providing alternative arrangements to ensure DD receives a suitable full-time education. This should begin once it becomes clear 15 days will be missed. The days don’t need to have already been missed or consecutive. Email the LA about this.

DD had the same problem. After she missed school many days and the attendance officer stepped in, the school was forced to help.
Adjustments included quite time on tricky days (whatever the child feels more overwhelmed).
My DD leaves the class and goes to do art with a TA in a quite room.
She also misses assembly sometimes as it bothers her with all the clapping.
You need to force the school to take your child seriously (I know, it shouldn't be this way!).
Eventually I filed for an EHCNA and she got a plan.
She is much happier to go to school and less likely to experience burnout
Good luck xx