Meltdown Mondays

[Teaandsympathy]

Looking for advice / experiences so I can help my dd. She’s dd11 has asd and adhd which she recently started medication for. She started a new school in August (Scotland) I was really concerned about her settling in and have been somewhat surprised as it seems to be going really well at times. Other times less so but that was to be expected as I knew it would take time and there would be ups and downs. The thing I’m hoping someone can help with is Mondays. Transitioning back to school from the weekend seems really hard for her. Most Mondays dd is in a bit of a pickle as I call it… some weeks including today she’s full on sobbing in the morning. It’s so hard to get the bottom of what’s worrying her and to help her. I wonder if anyone has any tips on anything I can do to help her transition/ prepare mentally for school. Her conditions show up mostly as anxiety. She’s very bright and though can struggle socially appears to have lots of friends and understands most things if we take the time to explain and talk about it.
thanks

Anyone?

Would going to school 5/10 mins early/late via a quieter entrance help, with a soft start? What support is the school providing?

School have been great. Did an enhanced transition for her. All her teachers know and seem sensitive to her needs. Any issues we’ve raised so far they’ve dealt with well. She spends time each week with learning support teacher and they’re working on communication as dd is quiet and social communication is something she struggles with. The school already do a soft start… children arrive from 8.30 for 8.55 start. Unfortunately Dd usually has to get the bus which tends to her there for 8.40-8.45.

I'm thinking we need a something we can do at home to make her mentally prepare for school on a Monday. We obviously already pack her bag and get her uniform ready. Maybe tagging on a few mins to that to make sure we talk about the next day might be enough. Not sure.

If the bus is contributing to the difficulties and the transport is provided by the LA, have you spoken to them about it and reasonable adjustments?

thanks all. Yes unfortunately she has to get the bus as I have younger children going to school in the opposite direction.
agreed it’s probably a long day and she’s still getting used to it… though she does seem to enjoy getting the bus so i don’t think she’d be happy with alternative transport even if I could get it. once a week I can take her in and she has often opted to get the bus with friends instead of coming with me. I pick her up once or twice a week too. Which is currently acceptable to her 😆

Ive spoken to school to see if they have any suggestions. Fingers crossed they have an idea

Mondays are hard in our house. The only thing that helps is a lot of validation (this is very difficult for you, etc), something special that only happens on Mondays (DD has half hour quite time at school in the art room to draw) and when very difficult, she gets to stop at the corner shop on way to school to pick a special snack for the day.
She still struggles but all the above has helped immensely, as well as repeating to her "I see it's very hard for you to make it to school on Mondays, but you can do hard things!"
Also maybe a bit more investigation of how school is going and whether she is appropriately supported! Good luck

Thanks @samarcanda thats really kind and helpful of you to share your experience. I like the special snack and art room ideas! I have a meeting with school next week. (Had been planned for last week and had to be postponed)
ive taken a similar tack this week/weekend …I’ve told dd her mantra this week is going to be “I am strong and capable and can do anything I put my mind to” and told her she needed to put her mind to confidently going to school. We also “got our minds into school mode” last night. Without dwelling. I definitely have validated feelings etc but thought perhaps we need more work on modelling positivity. This morning was the best Monday we’ve had for weeks. Im
not green enough to think we’re out of the woods but hopefully it’ll help for a while at least