How do I stop child touching self?

[Whatdowedoaboutit]

That’s it really. She’s (6) on the SEN register and being assessed (likely ADHD or similar). Since she was 2 we’ve had the continual problem of her, well, masturbating. We’ve tried distraction, we’ve explained you can’t do it in public, we’ve tried shouting, we’ve tried taking away privileges, we’ve tried rewards. Nothing works.

It’s been 4 years and I don’t know what to do. It’s starting to be a really problem as she’s getting too old for this to be ‘just a kid thing’.

What are you trying to accomplish exactly? Stopping it entirely, stopping something compulsive, stopping it in public situations? If it started at age 2 then it can hardly be called masturbation so much as innocently exploring her body parts in a way that feels good or is soothing. By age six you should be able to move beyond "just a kid thing" towards something that has more rules attached.

My daughter started at about 3 years old first with humping then with hands as well. All I did was question her on why she was touching herself there and verify that it was just because its pleasant rather than to scratch an itchy rash or infection. From there I just began refining her behavior and using it as an education lesson. We started with the basics: "I know that feels good but we only do that at home". Distractions, redirection, and constant reminders helped. Then it progressed to asking that she go wash her hands before starting and after finishing while including simple lessons on body parts and hygiene. Just the fact that she had to stop and wash her hands helped reduce the frequency because she would do it A LOT. These lessons requires plenty of repetitions over the past couple of years

Truthfully I didn't care much if she did it at home in the bath or at bedtime or when watching a movie because it's a natural, normal part of development. She just needed to learn hygiene, safety, and privacy. It was a bit funny to see her suddenly run off to her room announcing that "i want to play with my vulva now" or "i finished and I washed my hands" but the goal was accomplished overall. Now she no longer does it publicly or with guests around and more importantly she knows it's a healthy, acceptable activity to enjoy at the right time and she doesnt have any shame about herself.

Please do try not to shame her or punish the act itself but instead focus on reinforcing a routine that let's her enjoy herself in a balanced and safe way.