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Teen DD possible ADHD - experiences please

6 replies

Gauragaura · 05/11/2023 18:05

I’d love to hear some experiences of people getting teens diagnosed. My 16yo DD is ringing lots of bells for me. I won’t bore you with the details but there was a thread on here of women , diagnosed as adults, describing what they were like at 13 and it’s her to a t. She’s intelligent and ambitious and has chosen a very competitive subject for her degree. But she’s at a new sixth form and things aren’t going well- they think she’s disengaged with late homework and are worried that she’s really unhappy. She swears everything is fine. I’ve spoken to the school about my worries and they are going to keep an eye. They’ve offered her extra help and counselling but she’s declined. They describe her as a real closed book. From what I read about other children, they are distressed by their inability to focus or get things done. Not handing in homework would really stress them out but she just brushes it off. I don’t want her to struggle through the next two years or be disappointed because she’s not able to pursue what she wants to do and feel I owe it to her to find out one way or the other. If it’s negative that’s also useful information for me to know how best to support her. But when she just shuts down any suggestion of help or support I can’t imagine how to raise it with her. The only thing I can think is to wait for the first set of exams, see if she bombs and then raise it, although not sure if my anxiety levels would cope. I only hear stories of older teens/adults recognising symptoms in themselves. Does anyone have experience of raising the subject with older teen, possibly in denial? I’m worried she’d just refuse. TIA.

OP posts:
PassageDEnfer · 05/11/2023 20:38

At 16, it's got to be her choice? How about getting an ADHD positive book like, Movers, Dreamers and Risk Takers, and read it yourself? (Could you or her Father have ADHD? It has a big genetic component?). If she is interested she'll pick up on it?

I won't give you the trite super-power stuff, but there are plenty of bright people having stellar careers, both aided and complicated by ADHD.

Gauragaura · 05/11/2023 21:10

Thanks, I’ll take a look at that. I’m afraid the issue is that she wouldn’t be interested, or even offended. She won’t discuss feelings or worries at all and seems determined to just handle everything by herself. We get on very well most of the time and like spending time with each other.

OP posts:
DavidTeveth · 06/11/2023 12:40

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DavidTeveth · 06/11/2023 12:42

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Gauragaura · 06/11/2023 13:01

She is very defensive about any suggestion that anything is wrong or that she might need any help. Shuts down all discussion instantly. Just wondering if anyone has been in the same position, where the parent has suggested the evaluation, not the older teen recognising it in themselves. It feels a bit like the nuclear button…

OP posts:
SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 07/11/2023 19:25

We've emphasised all along that nothing is wrong with them, they are just wired slightly differently Flowers

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