Is this a SEN?

[Lemonademoney]

My middle child is 6 years old and since starting primary he’s struggled with poor health (hospitalised three times) and had anaemia and post viral fatigue. I think (hope) we are now on an upwards curve but he’s holding on to a few mannerisms that make me wonder if it’s more than feeling tired/poorly…. He is just a bit zoned out and pale despite his blood tests now being normal. He’s very small and thin too even though we throw calories down him.

Academically he is ok now… he is a good reader, just moved up again so now top group however will regularly pronounce the ‘Ed’ on the end words like asked or talked. He also has times where words fail him, for example tonight he called a jumper a tshirt and looked at me blankly when I checked him on it. He takes a while to learn names of teachers and TAs, not his own but those who teach the classes around him or take him for maybe one session a day (around half hour in length). He took a whole to get pronouns right but that was at the height of his anaemia and now seems ok.

Maths, he’s got decent working knowledge but is slow to work through his books. His answers are generally all right and he accidentally skipped some pages last term and accidentally completed a topic they hadn’t taught yet and got them right too so I feel like he’s obviously getting it but not showing it…

His writing is poor but again is starting to improve… he swapped hands for an eternity though so I put that down to less practice on his now dominant right hand. I did wonder if the early hand swapping was an adhd sign but I spoke to his paediatrician who said it could be the anaemia was affecting his decision making (he was very anaemic).

He is a good swimmer, a good bike rider. He’s weak but not to the point where it stops him functioning. He’s very social and affectionate. I just can’t decide if his zoned out phases are him still recovering or if I need to start considering additional needs…. Teachers say he’s on target but looks exhausted most days which is accurate but makes me feel rubbish as I can’t fix him much as I’d love to.

Does any of this sound like anything to anyone? Medical people all say it’s just time but I wonder….

I think it sounds like his physical health is affecting his functioning, which could be classed as SEN. When you say DS is small and thin, is he underweight? Zoning out - has epilepsy been ruled out?

I think if actual doctors have looked at him and said it's fine / will just take time you probably won't get anything more meaningful from mumsnet. I know it's easier said than done but try and chill a bit and give it some time x

Thank you for replying. He isn’t classed as underweight any more (he was briefly after his first hospitalisation). Epilepsy hasn’t been mentioned… I think (I may be wrong) that the zoning out is tiredness, I did worry if he was struggling with overwhelm on a busy classroom but when I watch him in activities outside of school he doesn’t seem phased by loads of kids buzzing round him.

Thank you. My husband says I need to have patience, it’s hard when I think he looks so small and tired and his teachers say the same. I would hate to think I wasn’t helping him as much as possible.

I think you’ve possible hit the nail on the head when you say his physical health is affecting his functioning. I just wish I could improve his physical health.

Of course. All I mean is if you scour the internet you'll find any range of people who could say everything from 'my child was the same and it was leukemia and they DIED' through to 'my child was the same and it was autism' or 'start eating organically', or go gluten free, or try this supplement... you can make yourself mad. That's why we have actual doctors in the first place :-)

It takes time to regain strength/stamina. If the zoning out persists it is worth filming DS and ruling epilepsy out.

When your child has serious &/or complex medical needs it is normal to discuss with other parents online and IRL, seek advice and support, discuss options etc. It’s normal to become an expert in your child’s condition/care and go back to HCPs to discuss options/possibilities etc. Obviously, there are some out there whose posts are dubious but I am sure OP can recognise that.

You mentioned post-viral fatigue. I had the related CFS/ME and one of the things I suffered with was word findings difficulties. I would call a table a chair or say the opposite word to what I meant and be unaware I had done it. I think it’s fairly common as I remember being able to find information about it at the time which was decades ago. I could also manipulate complicated equations but then be unable to work out what 3 + 1 was, for example. As I got better things improved. Perhaps your son still has some symptoms and things will just gradually improve over time.

If your son’s health affects his learning to the degree that he needs different provision to the other children then it would count as SEN.

Oh that’s so interesting and EXACTLY how my son is at times. Thank you that’s really reassuring. Ironically I caught up with his literacy teacher this week who said she was impressed at his breadth of vocabulary… but it is how you described, he will amaze us by knowing something super complicated but then forget what his elbow is called. It’s good to know if isn’t uncommon.