Moving my SEN son schools… any advice?

[A1S2H3]

My 5 year old son has additional needs (ADHD mainly). He currently goes to a mainstream school, and credit to them, they do brilliantly with him and me.
He currently has a EHC plan and gets 20 hours 1-1. I have EHA meetings with his teachers every 6 weeks, he has a risk assessment in place (reduced timetable as a result) and much more help in place at school.
However they have advised that mainstream just isn’t the right place for him, and he would be better suited to an ARP school (mainstream school but with SEN classrooms/areas to suit his needs more).
I of course want to do what’s best for my son, but I am absolutely heartbroken. He adores his teachers and has made some lovely friends there and it is very close to home.
I dont want him going somewhere where he doesn’t know anybody and he’s the new kid, he’ll never see his teachers or classmates again and that makes me so sad for him. I just don’t know how to feel or what to do, I feel so upset for both me and him.
has anybody else been through this? Any stories?

No advice sorry but following as I'm in a similar boat. My son is is nearly 6, ASD and ADHD, non verbal, no toilet use. Gets 20 hours 1-2-1 most of which is in a specialist class with other SEN children. School is close to home. I'm thinking the news will come that he needs to move to full SEN school which is a fairly long drive away if no progress is made this year.

Sending you 💐xx

Sounds like you need an early review of the EHCP whether you want to pursue another placement or not. Other than 20hrs 1:1, what provision does the EHCP include?

Why is DS on a reduced timetable and how long has that been for? Is the LA making other arrangements for the remaining time?

Would you be able to maintain friendships even if DS moved schools?

We moved DS into a more appropriate setting. There have been a few bumps in the road, but on the whole it’s been a very good move. The prospect of moving them is upsetting, I totally understand how you feel. But they do settle very quickly and if they can keep up with pals from their old school they really get the best of both worlds.

We moved my son to a specialist school. I guess I empathise with you in that no one 'wants' their kids to be out of a mainstream environment really.

For us I'd say it was different because we moved my son when he was already utterly totally miserable, no friends etc, and was a game changer, he now has brilliant friends, is happy and settled and doing great academically.

If we had our time again we'd have moved him sooner, before things went downhill and he got behind academically and socially.

It's hard to say as I don't know your son... maybe he never goes downhill and if he's happy and thriving he'll continue to be so.

Only thing which would give me pause, and I'd advise you at least to have a sense check, is that teachers know a lot. They see a lot of kids and probably have a sense early on of if a mainstream setting may not be right for your son. They may see things you don't observe. 5 is super young and kids at that age tend to be pretty accepting of differnces. My son at 4 was really popular. By 5, less so. By 6, he was a social outcast. Boys particularly around that age start playing team sports and so on which ND kids can struggle with and become isolated.

I'm not saying this WILL be the case. But just somethin to think through.

Also specialist doesn't have to mean lower academic outcomes. My son certainly does better academically than he would in a mainstream. I see no reason he shouldn't go to uni one day etc.

20 hrs isn’t full time for a 1 to 1. Have you asked the school if he had a full time 1 to 1 at all times do they think it’s the right school?

Maybe they might need the extra 13 hrs of a 1 to 1 is that why they gave him a reduced timetable?

Id go with an open mind and look at the school they are suggesting then you will know if it suits your child better

Good luck