Am I being OTT?

[nickname4789]

Hi everyone, my DS is 2 and I’ve had concerns from around 12 months of age, but didn’t really have concerns regarding ASD until around 18 months. Would like some advice really as to what sounds the “norm” for a 2 year old and what raises eyebrows..

okay so things I’m concerned about my toddler are:

1. eating- he will only eat “safe foods” (I’ve gone down EVERY avenue you can possible think of to encourage a variety of foods believe me) - these foods are mainly jam sandwich, toast, apple, biscuits, custard, crisps, biscuits, banana, noodles, chicken nuggets and McDonald’s fries, MAYBE a tiny bit of pizza, cheese, breadsticks. Some days he’s just not interested in eating at all. (I know it sounds all like junk food but I do offer healthy food daily)
2. socialising- he has NO interest what so ever in other children, doesn’t even respond to them what so ever when they interact. Hates playgroup, cries the whole time if it’s a large playgroup that’s busy/noisy. Gets very overwhelmed and screams the place down out of nowhere when we’re out until we’re home. Doesn’t calm down for ages, sometimes over an hour. Usually only things that console him is his comforters and singing. Prefers adult interaction.
3. stimming- repeated rocking, blinking, fiddling with hands, running around the same time every evening back and fourth for ages whilst humming, head banging, spinning, hand flapping
4. Repetitive play- will ALWAYS do the same play - spinning objects, building / knocking down, pretend feeding (which I guess falls under role play so that’s a good thing I think?)
5. Communication and language- definitely concerns about delayed speech. Will repeat same words “mama” and “dada”, understanding isn’t great eg can’t understand instructions or 2 instructions in the same sentence.
6. seems to have no sense of danger - won’t walk with us, tries to run off whenever we’re out, hates wearing reins!! In his own bubble
7. touch- hates clothing that covers his hands, any clothes with buttons that takes time to do up, hates personal care (teeth brushing, nappy changing, changing clothes)

things he CAN do that make me think is it just norm? Are

1. points and blows kisses to us
2. understands “where’s?…” and points to the correct image in a picture book
3. Points to different body parts
4. gives eye contact to us
5. 9/10 responds to name
6. Walks flat footed
7. seems to have good coordination
8. will try and mimic sounds (miss rachel “o-o-o-open!”)
9. will clap to songs and copy dance moves (bending knees and trying to jump)
10. can use a fork and spoon (although prefers hands with dry food)
11. good interaction with adults (will build blocks and copy or knock down the blocks and enjoys ball games)
12. shows us things that she’s interested in like bringing a book over to show us
13. understands where things belong

so any advice would be appreciated or opinions! Am I worrying over nothing? Can some of it just be a phase?

If you are concerned have you spoken to your HV &/or GP? In some areas you can self refer to SALT &/or for an ASD assessment. Have a look at the MCHAT.

For the eating, have a look at ARFID. Some of what you mention e.g. lack of danger awareness is normal in 2 year olds. Parallel play is developmentally normal, but DS sounds overwhelmed from a sensory POV with the playgroups. Do you have a smaller one locally? What is DS like 1:1 with another DC somewhere like at home?

Hi @YellowRosesWithRedTips thanks for your reply!
I have been in touch with both the GP and health visitors regarding my concerns and his eating. GP said they wouldn’t refer to peads for his eating unless he was losing weight and prescribed vitamins to replace ones he may be missing in his food. As far as his behaviours and development, health visitors are basically keeping a wait and see approach! He has his 2 1/2 year check soon so I’ll be glad when I can get an update on where we go from there. He also starts nursery in January. I self reffered to SALT and luckily managed to get an appointment but it’s not until February due to backlog :(

I definitely feel he is very sensory, especially to sounds too. He hates the vacuum / hairdryer too. We have a smaller playgroup that he attends and he seems fine there (emotionally wise) he just doesn’t interact with the other children! Also same at home, no interest what so ever when family members etc come round with their kids

Have you tried ear defenders?

Not all ICBs provide sensory OT on the NHS anymore, but if your area does it is worth a referral to OT.

It is good you have got the ball rolling with SALT and the HV. Sadly, most things SEN related have waiting lists these days. Have you spoken to the nursery’s SENCO?

@YellowRosesWithRedTips I haven’t tried those yet, he won’t keep hats on full stop so I’m not too sure whether he’ll keep the ear defenders on, but that being said if he realises it helps he may keep them on when he wants to so I’ll definitely give it a go!

I’ll take a look at the OT, fingers crossed we have something like that round here!

I wanted to get the ball rolling asap as I know so many people are waiting forever for support! Such a pain! My DS hasn’t started nursery yet, but I’ve already made them aware of my concerns, I’m just waiting really to speak to the SENCO properly when he starts to get an idea what they’ll be looking at or get their opinion after he’s been there a few times:)