School refusal/severe anxiety-what can I do?

[sammywa]

Hi everyone my little boy is 12 and has autism and type 1 diabetes he is also being tested for ADHD. Currently he is having autistic meltdowns in school reception, it takes a lot of physical effort just to get him through the doors. He is refusing school, resulting in kicking and punching everyone around him. I have spoken to the SENCO and she says she does not know what to do. Today I took him to the GP who said he has anxiety and the best way to deal with that is to attend school. Im talking to IPSEA as soon as I can get through. Im speaking to the senco and the deputy head, ive got my son counselling with no limits which is starting soon.
However non of this helps at the moment, he is waking several times a night each time crying out is it time for school yet? Its heartbreaking. Ive read the book the explosive child and its not helping really.
Does anyone anywhere have any suggestions? anything at all that will help?
Thanks

Physically forcing DS into school is likely to cause more harm than good. It is likely to cause trauma.

What support is the school already providing and what have they already tried? Can DS communicate what it is about school he is struggling with? Is he Y7 or Y8? Does DS have an EHCP? If not, you should request an EHCNA. If he does, you need an early review.

If DS can’t attend school full-time the LA has a duty to ensure he receives a suitable, full-time education.

Follow up verbal conversations with the school with emails so you have a paper trail as evidence should you need it.

Ask GP for CAMHS referral. If funds permit find a child psychologist and get advice on supporting DC and their anxiety. Prioritise DC's mental health and help them to feel safe.

Do you have an EHCP? If not apply for one yourself tonight with the template letter off ipsea website.

That school is not meeting your sons needs. Don’t force him. There is a reason for his behaviour. Ooooo your poor boy.

is he able to articulate (yes I know very hard for ASD children) however if you can chat if there is someone (a teacher) or even a child causing an issue or is it a bit of everything and it’s all just too much. Does he need a specialist school?

He’s getting older - more demands - less fun . It doesn’t suit everyone.

15 days out of school the LA can step in and help with education.

It’s not nice he’s waking up in the night - don’t push him into school it’s not worth it. Mental health is.

I love “missing the mark” on Instagram by Eliza fricker - search for her.

School need to help more - does he have a friend? Safe place in school? Buddy system set up? Can he be dropped down a set so less pressure. Don’t force him if he doesn’t want to go ….. get him signed off with anxiety.

All children want to do well they just need their own right environment and people and they will all fly in their own world with the correct setting

Please don't force him into school if he's kicking and screaming.
My daughter has been a school refuser and the pain and trauma of being sent to something they find intolerable is not worth attendance.
His needs are not met, school has to work with you to understand what he needs and where the problems are.
My daughter had sensory issues, she wasn't understood (she can seem defiant if you don't know she's autistic), she couldn't voice her emotions.
2 years later, an EHCP, constant emailing the achool, attendance officer etc, she has now been given support and validation and she is happy to be in school most of the times. It's hard, you need to advocate for him. Join the FB group "define fine". It's about children and schools refusal. Good luck xx