Does mainstream school ever work out for SN children?

[redmalt]

My son is autistic and has just done his first week at primary school. So far, it has gone extremely well, something which I am surprised about as we used to have issues when he was in nursery and I wasn't feeling hopefully about him being full time in school. However, he seems to be loving it and is thriving.

I hear many things from others where their SN child has eventually had to go to a specialist school. I'm obviously open to this if it's needed in the future for him, but I was just curious if others had any experience to share about their ASD child being in a mainstream school? I know it's very early days for us at the moment and things could change in the future..

Teen DS3 (ASD and other needs) thrived in MS until earlier this year. What made it work was an excellent EHCP. The wheels came off earlier in the year and we are now considering options. It also worked for autistic DD2 now an adult).

If it’s a nice school that’s flexible with caring teachers anything is possible. The older the child gets the more demands so that’s when it gets tricky - the child has to want to learn / enjoy the school environment otherwise it’s very difficult …. (Obviously everyone is different but that’s my view). Also, being ASD depends how anxious the child is / how many transitions in a day / the noise/ adhd meds / friends / can they keep up in class - lots of variables / pe

The people / environment key factors

Yes it is possible, with understanding, different expectations and adjustments.

Yes, my son went from a special needs unit to mainstream best decision ever in his classroom in the unit. There were so many outbursts and violent children that just ran riot it scared my son so much he wouldn't leave our house for a year then we got him enrolled at a school he really wanted to go to it was like he just switched he loved his new mainstream school he got a one on one aide he made friends it was just beautiful how supportive they were I am still in contact with his aide she is such a beautiful person and my son still likes saying hello to her.
My son is in year 8, and now he is back in a autism unit, but it's much better than the primary school one he gets to do some mainstream classes but gets the support he needs (we thought he needed extra support in high school as it can be very overwhelming moving classrooms every hour different teachers different kids so needed a stability for that).

Mine is in y5 and doing very well. She is bright and likes learning and the support she needs is mainly emotional and understanding from the staff which she gets. Her current school is great but secondary does worry me.

I have 3 DC. The first one is NT so no issues with school (he’s now 17). The second two are both ND and school has been awful for them both. Primary school was manageable but it broke down very early in to secondary for both DC. One is now home educated (aged 14) . The other one is barely attending and we are now looking at other options (aged 12). Home education is not suitable for DC3 for various reasons.

It has been an extremely stressful journey and I feel like a terrible failure as a parent. It is difficult listening to friends who have DC excelling in private education when I have two children who will barely scrape a pass due to extensive periods out of school.

One has long term MH problems as a result of lack of support. The other is heading the same way if this trajectory continues. I fought the system but it takes too long and it wastes so much time.

It is not the fault of the DCs but I feel genuine shame at the way things have turned out and I worry for their futures. They have been failed by an education system who focus on money rather than the benefits of education.

It is a very fine balance between getting an education or leaving education with a shred of MH and self esteem in tact. I beat myself up about it every day.

@RavingMoony You are not a failure. You have recognised DC’s needs and are supporting those needs. You are doing what you think it right at that moment in time, no-one can do any more than that. IMO, MH has to be the priority, education can always come later. It is no use having multiple qualifications if DC can’t function in everyday life.

Does DC3 have an EHCP? If so, have you considered EOTAS. As well as DS3 I mentioned in my pp I have DS1 (not autistic, but other complex needs) who has EOTAS. The benefit of an EHCP is it can continue until 25, or in some cases 26. It can also provide therapies and other MH support not available on the NHS &/or that DC wouldn’t otherwise get and without the need to sit on waiting lists. In the meantime if DC3 can’t attend the LA has a duty to ensure they receive a suitable, full-time education (or if full-time in any form isn’t appropriate for DC as much as they can cope with).