Parents of ASD toddlers

[Summerpai]

DS is 3, I love him to bits obviously but I’m really not in a good place. He has no diagnosis yet but I’ve been told to expect one soon.

I hate to feel like I’m complaining about him because none of this is his fault but it’s so relentless. I don’t feel as if I can cope anymore, I cry everyday. He ruins my house,. I’ve lost count of the amount of things he has broken. I can’t leave him alone in the living room for more than 2 minutes because he will take his nappy off and wee and poo on the floor. The list is endless.

He is non verbal, and doesn’t understand instructions. What I think I find most difficult is that he doesn’t understand me. With DS1 I was able to say “don’t do this it’s dangerous” or “if you stop doing that you can have a treat” etc. I can’t do any of that with DS2 and it’s just so frustrating for both of us.

I’m not really sure why I am saying this. I’ve just had a rough day with him already😞

Also, does anybody know if I could get any support from somewhere? He’s not at a nursery at the moment as I can’t afford it. I have applied for DLA so if I am awarded it then that will pay for a nursery. I am waiting for an appointment for a course called more than words but I have been told it’s a long waiting list. Is there anywhere else?

Do you have support from portage?

DS is, or will be from September if he has recently turned 3, entitled to 15 hours of free childcare. The placement can apply for early years inclusion funding if they need more money to be able to meet DS’s needs. If DLA is awarded, they can also apply for disability access funding. You should also request an EHCNA. IPSEA has a model letter you can use to request one. Some LAs have specialist nursery assessment places for DC who are going though or need to go through the EHCNA process. Have a look at whether your area does.

Have you had a home OT assessment? Aimed at making the house safer and better meet DS's needs.

You can request social care assessments. A carer's assessment for you and an assessment by the disabled children's team for DS. Contact has model letter you can use. Also, contact Home Start, they may be able to support you. Scope offer mentoring to DC going through assessment.

Similar situation as you. Had to make a lot of changes to areas kiddo can access like removing everything breakable, changing fabrics, putting in door gates everywhere, locks etc.

We found onesies, long-johns and specialist undervests helped to prevent the nappy interference. It's kinda expensive but I recommend KayCey vests with legs and back zip. Our DLA is used on things like that.

Diagnosis hasn't led to any additional help for us, just as a heads up. Kiddo has an EHCP for school and that is the most important and helpful thing received. Nothing for home life though!