When did you know?

[CherryBomb87]

... It's just that my ds has been different from the day he was born. He's incredible and I love him so much but it's always been there in the back of my head and now I really feel it in my heart.

He's nearly 3. Our day starts at 5-6am when he climbs into my side of the bed for a 5 minutes hug then we go downstairs. There may be several tantrums before breakfast if we can't find jupiter (an orange ball that sometimes rolls under the sofa) or if I don't know which toy is the red giant (that's a star which is just about to collapse I recently learned). Breakfast is usually OK, toast or weetabix, he can choose. He'll sometimes help make it, sometimes he screams at the toaster then throw all his food on the floor. We go upstairs and put his music and stars on, turn off the lights and recently, all leave so he can sing and dance because if we don't, he'll bite his one year old sister for being too close to his planets picture.

He's got an extensive vocabulary, he learned the word penumbra today - that's the outer edge of an eclipse - but if he wants something he just screams aaaghh and waves his arms or shouts something odd like Brenda! Brenda! (Brenda the blenda from bing, which in our house is a blue plastic toy jug, for example). He mostly talks in quotes from songs or TV. He's committed at least 50 books to memory word for word.

He loves climbing, older children and pressing his face against mine really hard and sometimes licking my face. He doesn't like people in his space and not getting his own way.

He only eats bread/cake/biscuity foods, chips, Yoghurt, crisps, weetabix, nut butter, jam and banana. Every meal I give him what we're having, something he'll eat and something he'll like. For example, stirfry, bread and nut butter, Yoghurt (which has to be served in the pot with the lid on and with a small metal spoon).

We've talked about it a lot but I think I might call the health visitor tomorrow for a chat because every day is getting harder and I don't know how to be a good parent or what he needs and it's breaking my heart.

Sorry for the long post, I'm not really sure where to turn.

Oh he sounds adorable, and you sound like such a lovely family.

Space is such a good special interest to have because it connects to so many things and there are toys and experiences galore at all sorts of different levels.

Try out Kurzgesagt videos and Dr Maggie's guide to the solar system if you haven't already. Is there a planetarium near you? Can you make it to Otford in Kent where there's a scale model of the solar system across several fields? Or to the Herschel museum in Bath where Uranus was discovered?

AndnextcomesL on insta is good on gestalt language processing - which from your description he may be doing.

I'm a big fan of Ross Greene's collaborative problem solving method - works for neurodivergent kids, but works for neurotypical kids too. It's one of those things there is no harm trying.

Good luck.

Thank you - we're very lucky to be close to the science museum in Winchester, we've got annual passes 😂.

If you're ever there, we're the ones next to the giant planet saying, "no, let someone else have a turn please" 🙈

We love Dr Maggie, we'll look up kurzgesagt and gestalt language processing - that's really helpful, thank you so much x

And I've just finished the explosive child and moving on to raising human beings x

😄. Have you looked into the 2e (twice exceptional) idea - basically kids who are both disabled and gifted?

Waiting lists for diagnosis are years long on NHS at the moment, and it's unlikely to get better under the Tories. So even if you get referred it might take a while for answers to come through.

Your DS sounds just like mine at that age (we are waiting for an ASD diagnosis). A key difference though is your DS sounds like he already has some incredible language skills and an AMAZING aptitude for learning about space! He sounds like a really cool little person to know (though I'm sure, also exhausting, if he is anything like my DS haha).

Definitely get that advice, and if an ASD diagnosis is something they recommend you look into, I'd recommend jumping into this wholeheartedly as there's a wealth of information out there about how you can tailor your approaches to parenting to make the day that tiny bit easier, and support him to reach his potential - which sounds very high indeed. I know it's scary at first and not where you thought you'd be, but your DS sounds like he has an amazing brain in his little 3yo head, and the capacity to do some pretty amazing things as he grows up with the right approaches that recognise the way he learns best.

Also agree on gestalt language processing - my son fits this description and the tips I've gleaned from Meaningful Speech (also on insta) have really helped him move toward more flexible language and less reliance on scripts to communicate. He's 4.5 and not quite there yet, but getting closer almost by the day now and it's really exciting!

... It's just that my ds has been different from the day he was born. He's incredible and I love him so much but it's always been there in the back of my head and now I really feel it in my heart

Awww he sounds lovely and you sound like a wonderful parent. I suspected from about 2 weeks old - he was different. Now he's almost 5 and it's almost definite that he's ND (HV says she has no doubt whatsoever) and we're awaiting an assessment. He's wonderful and really smart, but has always been quirky.

Thank you - his language has definitely improved rapidly.

Your boy sounds lovely, it's so amazing watching their language develop regardless of when or how it happens x

Thank you - I feel like I'm mad saying I've always known but I really feel like it's been evident from a very early age.

Quirky is just how we describe or boy 😂❤️

Thank you all. We had another chat with his nursery today (he goes twice a week) - they said there's been no behaviour issues. Well. Except obviously throwing things at lunch because of his issues around food. And they've noticed he really likes his space. He does flap a lot if people go near him when he's into something and he rarely invites himself into group play and others to be on his own or occupying himself. And he gets easily frustrated and is very headstrong and if he doesn't want to do something, he's not going to do it.

So, er, quite a few things they've picked up on then 😂.