ASd exhaustion in teen

[ArseInTheCoOpWindow]

Dd 17 refused to go to school from March if this year. It’s clear she has autistic burnout.

She’s exhausted all the time. This week, she played 2 online games with a friend
and Dh took her driving twice. That’s it. She’s wiped out. She went to dss’s house to paint some walls. Came home after 2 walks. Too exhausted. She’s had all the blood tests. Nothing there.

Does this continue for ever? How will she have a life?

Bump

Things can improve, but it takes time and isn’t necessarily linear.

Do you mean it will go?

She was diagnosed very late. She’s complained of being tired all her life. I just thought she was tired when she was younger. We had no idea she had ASD.

I mean it can improve. It won’t necessarily go in the sense DD will be the same as she was before, but that isn’t necessarily preferable anyway since it was masking to that extent that led to burnout.

I think she’d like to be able to study.

She can’t even read a book at the moment.

Literally don't push her. It may take weeks it may take months but don't push don't stress. I was similar at that age, I seemed to have a cycle of being fine for a couple years then burning out/breakdown. Worked out what I can do without too much stress then worked out what helps me recharge. Im now capable of working full time and parenting 3 kids. If she's newly diagnosed there is a lot to learn- I only managed to work out life following my late diagnosis. I will function typically for 12 days then I literally sleep and hide from the world over a weekend. If I miss that weekend I can make it to the next weekend I have no kids but I feel it. She needs to find how to make it work for her but before she does she needs to recover, and once recovered will probably have a few more 'mini' burnouts till she learns her limit.

But honestly don't push her or let her push herself because it will take longer to recover

I’m not pushing her at all.

She couldn’t read a page in March, no she can read a chapter. I’m just concerned as she is so tired and sleeps all the time. And l want a better life for her than that, and I’m scared it won’t go.

Hi there, just want to give you some hope. This sounds like both of my daughters who both went through a period of burnout. My older daughter is now at college and doing amazingly with her A-levels. My younger daughter is just coming out of it and is due to start school again (after being out of school for over a year). Key to their recovery is as PP says, being led by them - no pressure at all. Also helping them to work out what depletes and what energises them. Supporting to do things, but being ready to call if off if it seems too much (I found that very tricky). Making sure all is done to make external environments as safe as possible - access to quiet areas identified beforehand, time to leave identified beforehand, ear plugs to hand for sensory overload, etc… Look up energy accounting. She will soon get the hang of how to do this all herself - become her own advocate, but we had to model it for her. Older daughter now is fantastic at it. Will say no to social events if it feels too much (but has such a great social life now), sleeps when she needs to, prioritises routines for herself if things feel wobbly… Good luck. No denying it’s difficult (especially for recently diagnosed), but it’s a great opportunity to reset and work out what will work for your daughter and your family going forward.

Oh and another thing I forgot is medication. Both of my daughters have been massively helped with anxiety and OCD (caused by their autism) with Sertraline.

She’s on fluoxetine. And is bored to tears! But still exhausted.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow @Catsback

Hi

I know this is a zombie thread. My dd is going through the same and she is on 75mg sertraline This helps but I wonder do you think increasing will help? 75 is pretty low and she has ocd and anxiety.

She is 19. Diagnosed at 17 & 1/2 Dropped out of sixth form but got decent GCSE's.

She works part time in retail only 2 shifts of 4/5 hours a week. comes to an art class and is learning to drive one lesson a week. Rest of the time she is asleep or lying around on her phone.

The exhaustion is definitely real. She also has insomnia. Can't sleep at night but once asleep no waking her.

Anyway your thoughts would
Be
Most welcome thanks

Well, how things have changed!!!

She was diagnosed ADHD and that was the gamechanger. Fluoxetine did nothing, made her more lethargic.

ADHD medication changed everything. She is now halfway through an access course with an EHCP and 5 university offers under her belt.

l don’t know if a dose changed everything will help, it may. But burnout is real and they come out in their own time. Mine started to improve last January but slipped back in again. She had a place at a SEND school to do A levels but wouldn’t go. Between then and September she started to really get better and was determined and went to college.

It’s really hard, just hang in there. Most of the kids on DD’s Accesscourse are ND. Which says a lot!

Maybe she daughter also had ADHD? The 2 often go together.

You have my sympathy, it was awful. Someone once told me that nd kids step off the path for a bit but get back on later. This was my mantra in the darkest days. She will recover in her own time, let her just do it with no demands.She will recover though x

Hello, from a medication point of view, a higher dose was good for my older daughter, but was very disrupting (initiated suicidal ideation) for my younger daughter. They’re both doing well at school / uni now, although it’s by no means plain sailing. They’re both out of burnout but we do still need to facilitate healthy routines to help them manage their energy. Could you find a mentor for your daughter to help her to identify what energises her and what depletes her?

I wonder also whether you have been offered / have considered melatonin. Both of my daughters would have insomnia without it (common with ASD). Best wishes, it’s so hard.

Yes, we still have to watch energy levels. She still gets very tired.

Thank you for updating it is good to see it can get better!

Thank
You all
For
Responding

We have tried adhd meds but they were all awful. Either made her slug or an evil person.

However now she is stable on her ssri I wonder if it worse a shot at the best one again.

We were away for a few days and she doesn't eat properly and I come back to a burnt out child.

During my birthday week a weeks back she managed a full day shopping. A meal out. Theatre and her job and other commitments. Maybe that's made her need the extra rest.

I am worried. I so wish I could make it all go away.

I have got a mentor for her starting in a few weeks. She wanted to try. She wants so much but can't manage it.

It's crazy how they suffer. As a child she danced swam. Went to school was very active and social.

I wish she could be like that again. I wish we knew earlier so we could have prevented her burn out.

I'm hugely proud of her now. She is a bravest person I know.

I'm glad to hear all of the progress your kids have made. That gives me a lot of hope. Thank you

I will talk to her about increasing meds. We can always go back if no improvement for her .