Screen time and ASD

[howtowriteahaiku]

My dd age 12 tends to get very obsessed as you’d expect with many people with ASD.
however what worries me is her current obsession is Sims and she wants to spend all her time playing sims and it’s the fact she is on screens so much and I don’t know how to change it. She’s not interested in anything else.
she will do some activities with me such as baking, but when I’m working from home and can’t do anything with her, she can’t think of anything else she wants to do. She can’t do a lot of things independently ie she would need support baking.
If I make her come off and find something else to do, she gets so distressed and so bored that I can’t focus on doing my work. But maybe I do just need to deal with that?
I’m just lost as to what to do. I want advice specifically for kids with ASD as this is a much easier issue to address for my DS who is neurotypical. If I make him come off screens he may get a bit bored but he always finds things to do and he’s fine.

You are right to draw a distinction between the ways ND kids use devices and the ways NT kids do. https://www.disabledliving.co.uk/blog/screens-and-autism-when-are-screens-necessary/

Too late for these holidays, but for the future, you could look at a social care assessment with the aim of looking at a PA, so DD can build a relationship with someone who can do some of the activities that she will do with you for part of the time whilst you work. Or you could look to fund it independently if you can/prefer.

If she's eating clean and up to date on homework I'd just let her play. Particularly if you are working. I'm biased though because I'm autistic and love sims, I would loose hours to that game as a teen. I still would if I didn't have responsibilities

Another autistic woman here to say that SIMS is a common world to escape into for ASD folk. It is predictable, calming, very absorbing etc. This time "lost" in SIMS is probably helping her regulate and recuperate after school/ the world and is really important to her mental health and wellbeing.

Our OT said the same to me when I visibly cringed when admitting to her how much screen time my autistic DS had sometimes. She said to throw out the usual parenting advice on screen time and really consider how DS was using it before trying to limit it, as it was probably an important tool for him to regulate and relax. (It absolutely is)

Also, that link @coldcouture posted strikes a few familiar cords - DS wouldn't take part in teacher-led learning at preschool so missed out on early reading activities, but he is indeed learning his phonics through an Alphablocks app on his tablet completely independently, so there have been educational benefits to boot.

Thank you all for your responses, they’re very reassuring. I think she does use screens to regulate. I’ll keep an eye but I feel less worried.