Autistic son has meltdown when his sister cries

[WildeBaby85]

Hi everyone!

Nor really SEN related but couldn’t find a ASD thread. My 3.5 autistic NV son has really extreme meltdowns when his 10 month old sister cries, it seems to be getting worse and it’s becoming difficult to do anything with them both. If she even starts fussing he’ll hysterically scream and cry. Strangely, he doesn’t seem as bothered if other babies cry, mainly his sister.

Has anyone experienced this before and most importantly, does it get easier? 😂

We’re a very active family and love going on day trips but the meltdowns are making it very difficult.

Thanks!

Will DS wear noise cancelling headphones?

Unfortunately not no… although maybe I should try again with them. It seems to just be her crying, not other loud noises too. He doesn’t like anything near his head, hats, buggy shades etc. Will give it a go thanks!

Our autistic daughter did this when she was very young. People with babies were constantly apologising to us if their baby cried. I’m not sure it was entirely just auditory sensitivity but she grew out of it.

Sounds like he is anticipating the crying and getting upset. How is his understanding? Maybe reassure him she’s ok using consistent language.
Symbols might work describing baby ( name) sleeping, playing, laughing, crying etc to help label what is happening. I’d keep on with the trying ear defenders too.

There is a book he may be too young for. I’ll look.

This is the book I mentioned

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Babies-Are-Noisy-brothers-including/dp/1849054592

That looks amazing, thanks so much for sharing! Will get it for him and give it a go. He’s lost interest in books in the last year or so but I should be more persistent trying. I do try to explain to him that she’s ok and is just tired/hungry but it doesn’t always work, his understanding isn’t quite there I think. Thanks so much!

I’ll try I symbols too as he’s doing quite well with his PECs

Hi,
I'm not trying to add any Phyco-babble here, and I have no qualifications other than 18 years of looking after an ASD daughter. But could it be the actual noise? (which could to your poor son be like a siren going off in his head) or the stress of seeing his sister (whom no doubt he loves), in what he might see as suffer in pain?
Some ASD kids are super sensitive and can feel things in the extreme. One thing you could try when she's on her own (no son) and cries, record some of it. Then when you are with your son (alone) play it (at very low volume) to see if he reacts (or looks for an association) i.e. noise but no baby. If there is no reaction try some other time with slightly increased volume. Just a suggestion but it could be something he could get used to (when he's at his best) and then it might not be so bad - it will take time though and patience. Good Luck