SEN school & trans concerns

[Offyoupoplove]

Name changed for this…

My son is currently in a mainstream primary school that has a religious character. As such, it’s fairly low key on anything controversial. It talks about families with two mums and things like that but nothing trans related.

He is likely to get an EHCP and be able to go to a special needs school that is smaller and more able to meet his needs.

But they seem very very into promoting gender identity. I have no issue with kids with gender dysphoria being supported but I am really concerned that my autistic son is going to get really confused by the many genders and gender separation from biological sex (or worse, develop sudden angst about his gender - something he has no issue with). He is very vulnerable as well as being highly intelligent.

Can I ask as a reasonable adjustment he not be in assemblies and sessions where this is being taught? I think it’s now fairly clear that autistic teens are particularly susceptible.

Are there any other suitable schools? If so, I would be running a mile looking elsewhere.

If not, I think you need to get the provision explicitly stated in F, so it is enforceable.

Unfortunately they are all very similar in this regard and he is a bit of tricky one because he needs somewhere he can take GCSEs but also is specialist because he is really impacted by being autistic.
I’m worried it will be near on impossible to get a professional to write in a report (in order to get in section F) because of potentially being labelled transphobic.

I've definitely seen somewhere on MN someone getting this into an EHCP. I suspect I was on the feminism board.

This thread:

This thread https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4742589-ehcp-safeguarding-from-gender-ideology

Some parents have managed to get similar in F, including the poster Teen mentions.

surely shielding your son from this part of culture is going to make it more fascinating? Do you plan to restrict his access to social media also?
What if there's a kid in his class who identifies as non-binary?
There are many aspects of life are increasingly confusing for autistic teens.

Are you worried that he's particularly likely to reassess his gender identity if he other people do?

I think he is less able to discern that his peers of similar ages. So yes I would like to shield him from this for a period when he is 9-14yrs and most vulnerable/not well equipped to understand.

Do you have an SEN child yourself? Just wondering what your approach has been?

It doesn’t have to make it “more fascinating”. Safeguarding a vulnerable, disabled child from a harmful ideologies is wise, especially given the link between autism and gender ideology.

Any responsible parent also carefully vets what their vulnerable, disabled child can access online.

@Offyoupoplove yes, i have a child in same age range with complex special needs. We live in an urban area and know people trans people, i don't see it as an especially troubling ideology. I would not want my child to go through that to be honest, the medical interventions etc, and we have discussed it ages ago. Grass is not always greener etc. My son lost any flicker of interest when he realised that being trans would not mean he'd be able to give birth. He finds all sex/romance quite disgusting and alien at the moment however. I worked with many people in various state of transition, and find them a liberating influence from toxic narrow gender norms.

As a parent of a disabled neurodivergent child I actually welcome any initiative to build more inclusive cultures.

i don't see it as an especially troubling ideology.

It clearly is, especially for autistic individuals.

@doouuble thanks for your thoughts. I appreciate we are coming g at this with very different viewpoints.

We also live in a diverse area, but this isn’t just accepting people at face value and treating people with respect (which I am 100% on board with). The schools around here are promoting the idea of transitioning without any teaching on the hardship this might cause the person. Medical transition is a painful and arduous life long path which will never enable you to be the opposite sex in the fullest sense.
I am very concerned that what is commonplace in these schools is the teaching of gender stereotypes which I have tried to parent my children without. The consequences though are not just teenage experimentation but life long and irreversible. Hence my concern.