Private school for 13-year-old daughter with ADHD?

[NigellaWannabe1]

My daughter has been diagnosed with combined ADHD but is mostly inattentive. Her behaviour has improved with medication, but she is still very disorganised and not sufficiently focused with school work. She's studying in our local comprehensive, which is good - but the SEN team do not respond to emails or seem to be able to support her. They have not even acknowledged her diagnosis. She's also quite immature in other ways and I worry about her judgement in social situations.

There's a local private school with small class sizes (average 15 pupils per class) and an ethos based on diversity and support. They are not focused on getting to the top of the league tables from what they say on their website, and yet their results are still very good. The inspection report specifically praises how even SEN students achieve above the national average, and how they are nurtured throughout their time in the school.

We can just about afford it. It would obviously have a big impact on our finances, but it is (just!) doable. We do however have two more children and we cannot stretch to putting them in private school too. They say they don't want to go to private school anyway, but I do worry they will see it differently as adults. What do you think?

We have a visit with the school booked for next week. What questions do we need to watch out for, and what questions should we be asking? Thanks.

Any thoughts? 🙂

Independents mainstream exceptionally long hrs (will your child cope)

Tested weekly (well our children are in the 3 independents they go to) expected to keep up.

Anything extra you pay for

Ski trips, residential all on top of fees

All independents say they are great with Sen - questionable in some schools

Look at isi report

Ask how many got EHCP

If your child will require an EHCP - it's going to cost you in an independent mainstream (parents) some will argue it won't - but it does ....

Even if your DC say they are OK with it, there is the potential for jealousy at a later date, especially if you have to make comprises to everyday life. You know it is because DC have differing needs, but DC don’t always see or understand that. Also, if you can only just afford the fees now can you afford fee increases and all the extras?

Before you commit, check carefully if the school is actually supportive. Many independent mainstream schools aren’t, and when they are they often charge extra for SEN Support.

Have you considered requesting an EHCNA?

If your child will require an EHCP - it's going to cost you in an independent mainstream (parents) some will argue it won't - but it does ....

Parents do not have to pay if it is named in an EHCP. Parents may have to appeal in the first place to get it named, but once it is named the LA must pay and parents can enforce it.

True I agree but that needs a tribunal - but that took me 2 years and £30k plus 😳 to get to name the independent as LAs are so crap

Needing to appeal to SENDIST to get the school named in I isn’t the same thing as parents having to pay fees for independent MS with an EHCP, though. And, parents should be supported to appeal rather than accept the LA’s decision.

Hi, thanks for your replies. My daughter's diagnosis is recent and I am relatively new to all this. Would she need an EHCP or EHCNA when her current attainment is not strongly below her year group average? She is struggling with her organisation and focus but then her school report says she meets expectations in most subjects. I am always surprised when I read that as she seems so immature in other ways.

Regarding the finances side of things, it would be a stretch, yes. But at least I'll feel that I'm doing something with the potential to truly make a difference to her future. This school has a large ND intake and their SEN support gets a lot of praise in the inspection report.

As for my other children, I know it is difficult to justify treating them differently. But I hope they will understand that their sister has additional needs and that is behind the decision to invest more in her education.

EHCPs are about more than academic ability. DC who are academically able can have an EHCP.

Why don't you get a med review maybe it needs increasing slightly for focus or maybe a top up med in the pm.

If she is happy at the current school - I personally would keep her there .... a lot could go wrong if she is unhappy. It's a massive change moving schools.

Also, how many will be joining the new school in sept - you don't want her to join if only a few new starters as some with already have their friendship circles.

Remember senior schools sport on sat too - usually miles from home too 😂

Tricky - good luck

She is not happy in her school and has asked to be moved to another. She has not asked to go private, just to move elsewhere so she can have a fresh start and hopefully make some friends. I imagine she might be one of the few new starters in Y9 but she feels that is a good thing... apparently everybody is nice to the new kids!

I had no idea senior schools had sport on Saturdays! Is that in every school...?

Not all have Saturday school &/or Saturday sports, but many do. It is something to check with the school you are looking at.

Thanks, I've made a note!

Also, do remember too - children travel for literally miles to school - the buses ship children in from different county to get to school or lots travel on trains / tubes . So a new friend could take a hr to travel to on a w/e! If you both in opposite directions of the school - so that can be a pain - it might not happen but it can.

Sometimes a local school that you can walk to is best for friends

Thanks, that is an important consideration. This is a small school in the north of England and I believe most of the pupils are local. But I will ask and also check the inspection report, as the information might be there.